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People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Funny,JokesMAR 14, 2024

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense

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When you sit down for a while and really start thinking about language objectively, you realize that a lot of things don’t really make much sense. There are inconsistencies and irregularities to account for. Not to mention philological decisions that simply sound illogical. But that’s the reality of language—the way it organically evolves isn’t always tidy.
Redditor u/johnnylgarfield started up an intriguing thread about linguistics on r/AskReddit. They asked everyone what, in their opinion, is badly named and what a better name for it would be. For example, why is a group of squid called a ‘shoal’ instead of a ‘squad’? It’s a head-scratcher! Scroll down for some interesting suggestions—both witty and serious—to improve the English language.
Bored Panda got in touch with Lisa McLendon, Ph.D., from the University of Kansas. She shed some light on the challenges that people run into when trying to rename something, as well as the factors that influence how language evolves. We also reached out to the author of the viral discussion, redditor u/johnnylgarfield. Read on for both of our interviews.

#1

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
I'm not the first to say it, but "pick-up artists" and "garbage men" should swap titles.
295points

Lisa McLendon, the William Allen White professor of Journalism and Mass Communications and the coordinator at the Bremner Editing Center, explained to Bored Panda that some of the biggest challenges when renaming something include habits, the reasons behind the change, and practicality.

“People get used to certain names for things, and new names may need quite some time to take hold. A good example of this is when a business buys the naming rights to a stadium but fans keep calling the stadium its old name,” she told Bored Panda in an email.

"Another challenge is whether people see a reason for a change. A lot of formerly acceptable names for groups of people or conditions are mostly gone (in polite company, anyway) because people realized they were offensive or disrespectful and wanted to change them," McLendon said.

#2

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Why is a group of squid called a shoal when it should be called a squad?
288points

#3

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Dentures. Should be Substitooths.
278points

"A third challenge is simply practical: ALL of the places where the old name exists need to be changed to reflect the new name. An example of this is when a city wants to rename a street to honor someone. People may like the idea, but when it comes to changing addresses everywhere, it takes a lot of time and money."

The professor explained that some of the factors that influence how we change the name of things are actual change, politics, usefulness, respect, and novelty. “In general, ‘top-down’ efforts to change any part of language are a more arduous process than organic changes to language that develop through everyday use.”

It makes sense to change the name of the things when they change themselves. “For example, the USSR broke up, and each one of the countries that (re)gained independence afterward changed its name to drop ‘Soviet Socialist Republic.’ However, this isn’t always enough: Another example is Twitter being renamed X, but everyone still calls the posts 'tweets,'" Mclendon said.

#4

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Jet ski. Dumb name. Obviously it is a Boatercycle.
273points

#5

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
I keep seeing people say that contractions should be birthquakes.
266points

#6

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
S’mores flavored Oreos are NOT called “S’moreos.”
I mean, what are they even paying their marketing people for?
247points

Meanwhile, it really does matter what we call things. "Politicians use names to try to shape the narrative. Calling a conflict a war, a rebellion, an invasion, or a skirmish influences how people think about it.”

We also have to consider whether a new name is needed or useful. We need to ask ourselves whether a new name clarifies or distinguishes one thing from another. If that sort of change is needed, it's more likely that the public will use the new term.

Something else to ask ourselves is whether the new term is clever or distinct enough to warrant the change. "A 'squad of squid' is much more interesting than a 'shoal of squid,' so people may like it enough to make that change easily," the professor mused.

She also noted that "changing a name to honor someone or something or to get rid of an outdated or offensive name happens regularly, and usually pretty easily."

#7

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
"Randomized Double Blind Trial" should be "Trick or Treatment".
246points

#8

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Emotional baggage should be called grief-case.
246points

#9

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Miscarriages. Think about that - it’s essentially accusing the woman for “mis-carrying” the pregnancy. It places the blame on women for something that’s almost always outside of their control, and traumatic to boot. A much better and more descriptive term would be “pregnancy loss”, which is already used widely in many settings.
218points

Meanwhile, Bored Panda also got in touch with the author who created the thread about renaming things in the first place, redditor u/johnnylgarfield. They were kind enough to answer our questions as well. 

We asked them how they would change the English language if they suddenly had the power to do so. The Reddit user told us that they would most likely start by changing "the spelling of a few words." That way, they'd hope to make them easier to pronounce.

#10

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Any bacon alternative that is not named Fācon is an abomination.
213points

#11

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Otto Preminger wrote his own biography and failed to title it Otto-Biography. Once in a lifetime pun, and he just threw it away.
Report
206points

#12

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Bee Hotels - lil wooden structure that solitary bees can nest in from time to time.
That's great - support local wildlife etc.
But seriously, who was the marketing genius that decided NOT to call them all "Bee&Bee"s??
183points

English, like most other languages, can be very frustrating to learn for complete newcomers. Bored Panda wanted to get the OP's thoughts on what new learners ought to keep in mind if they find themselves struggling or overwhelmed.

"English is a bit of a complex and intricate language," u/johnnylgarfield shared with us.

"Don't let the little things get to you," they encouraged everyone to keep doing their best.

According to the author of the r/AskReddit thread, they didn't quite expect the amount of attention that their question got on Reddit.

"I always wondered what things aren't named well and should be renamed," they revealed the inspiration behind the thread.

#13

I can't believe I'm the first to say sexual tension should be renamed to Bangxiety.
173points

#14

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Hot water heater. It's really a cold water heater.
172points

#15

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Butterflies should be Flutterbys.
165points

If we had the power to rename everything and anything, we could have a lot of fun. A snake could become a ‘danger noodle.’ Meanwhile, a hedgehog could proudly call itself an ‘ouch mouse.’ 

However, changing language inorganically is a heck of a task. You would essentially have to convince the majority of English speakers that a thing they’ve been calling one way their entire lives should be called something else.

You would need to provide a compelling reason for everyone to learn to call a thing something else. Not only that, but all of those people then have to get into the habit of calling the thing the name you tried to convince them is more logical. This is going to take a lot of time, resources, and repetition.

#16

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Now You See Me 2.
Should have been Now You Don't.
162points

#17

Daylight savings. Should be "pointlessly mess up everyone's sleep cycle".
154points

#18

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Hedgehog. Should be Needlemouse.
151points

It’s much easier to do this with new concepts, products, and technologies. Just look at how quickly AI spread across the globe and became a household term. In the meantime, for many people, ChatGPT has pretty much become the generic go-to term for most large language model chatbots. How this will change in the future is something we can’t wait to witness.

From our perspective, no language will ever be ‘perfect.’ For one, it would be incredibly difficult to come up with a unified understanding of what a perfect language would even mean. On top of that, it’s all of those linguistic quirks that make learning and using languages so enjoyable.

#19

From a sign outside of a bar:
Why is it called bisexual when ambisextrous is right there?
142points

#20

People Suggest New Names For Badly Named Things And These 50 Make So Much More Sense
Whoever coined the phrase Dad Bod really missed out on Father Figure.
141points
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