Right, so you might think, "Who are we to give out relationship advice?" That's like the blind leading the blind. And you are right. We are not some relationship counselors; however, if you add every Panda's dating experience, you might be able to learn a thing or two. And frankly, we've been given some pretty bad relationship advice in the past. And we are not talking about bad dating advice like "only date someone with money." (No further explanation is required as to why it's wrong.) Instead, we want to stress that not all advice is good or good for you, no matter how common and deeply rooted in society.
Many dating tips and relationship advice are either overly romanticized or strongly polarized, leaving no room for choice or interpretation. And considering that things are rarely so either black or white in real life, much of this advice can be misleading. Hence, we will attempt to take the pink-colored glasses off, see things for what they actually are, and try to "debunk" some of, in our opinion, the worst dating advice, non-negotiables in a relationship, and marriage tips that you should probably think twice about before giving to someone, much less following yourself. Not because none of the advice has proven itself true in the past (as certainly some of it has), but because there's often more to it than meets the eye. And what worked for some might not necessarily work for everyone.
Below, we've compiled some, in our opinion, bad dating tips and bad relationship advice that shouldn't be followed blindly and, instead, taken with a (huge) grain of salt. Do you agree with some of the examples? If so, give those an upvote. Also, if you had to offer (you probably already did) a bit of advice to a friend in a bad relationship, what would it be? Let us know in the comments!
#1 Children Will Save Your Relationships
Many couples experiencing difficulties in their marriage believe that having a child would resolve their problems. Sadly, this approach is poorly thought out. A baby won't improve communication, so be completely honest with yourself and each other about what's happening before you decide to have a child as a last-ditch attempt to fix your marriage. Don't put pressure on someone who hasn't even come into this world.
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#2 You Have The Right To Read Their Personal Messages
No, you don't. If you believe you have a right to read your partner's texts, it really says more about you than it does about them. Examine your own anxieties, or admit to yourself that you are with someone you don't trust.
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#3 Leave The Past In The Past
In a new relationship, it's important to stop dwelling on the past. However, certain matters are still important to talk about. You should talk about your health, problems that could hinder having kids, and disabling conditions that would make engaging in particular activities challenging. Also, your partner has a right to know whether past financial issues might imperil your relationship.
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#4 You Don't Need An Equal Partner
It's essential to understand that anybody you decide to be in a relationship with is a worthy and deserving partner. It all comes down to respect and communication. What's the point if you don't feel like you can interact with each other and respect each other on the same level?
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#5 Their Jealousy Just Means They Love You
A little envy now and again is fine. Still, if your partner frequently gets bitten by the green-eyed monster, it can indicate a dysfunctional relationship. Imagine someone who refuses to let you see their family and friends out of jealousy or becomes envious if you go out for coffee with a coworker. These behaviors can go too far and result in abusive conditions.
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#6 Play Hard To Get
Playing hard to get with a person you are interested in will likely result in you staying single as a pringle! Very few people have the time and "drive" to persistently pursue someone who doesn't return the effort. At least not today, with the abundance of options on dating apps. And no, the phrase "If I'm too much, go find less" is not applicable here. If you like the person, quit playing these silly games AND👏SHOW👏SOME👏EFFORT.
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#7 They Can Change
People can change, absolutely. But it's highly unlikely that they will ever do it for you. In fact, it's often the things we tend to ignore at the beginning of the relationship, hoping that the person will change their ways, that become the reason for breaking up, either months or years into a relationship. So look out for red and green flags in a relationship as soon as you become involved.
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#8 A Woman Who Earns More Can Be Threatening To A Male Partner
Surprisingly, many women are still advised to hide their achievements when dating. But, some men are just more suitable for domestic duties. In fact, many guys are far better than their partners at cleaning and cooking. And that's totally OK! Thankfully, today couples believe that gender roles can be flexible and that their ability to function as a team is way more important than any gender stereotypes or societal norms.
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#9 Love Hurts
Although that may sound theatrically romantic, nothing could be farther from reality. True love doesn’t hurt. A person who does not know how to love you does.
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#10 Relationships Should Always Be Easy
You shouldn't quarrel with your partner daily, but thinking that all relationships should be "smooth" is the wrong attitude. The bad news is that most relationships will need some level of work and hardship, even pain. The good news is that it doesn't have to endure forever; the condition is typically transient rather than permanent.
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#11 The Kids Should Always Come First
Putting your children first is not bad, but doing so always puts the pair up for many conflicts throughout their relationship. Not the kids, but the relationship must come first. The kids will do well if the bond between their parents is solid and trustworthy. Also, when you prioritize your children's needs and wishes over your own, an imbalance of authority emerges. At this point, you must remember who is the adult in the situation and who has to obey whom.
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#12 The Man Should Pay
This archaic dating advice has an easy substitute: Whoever asked for the date should pay. Either way, always ask the other person to pay or divide the cost. It's a kind act that makes a big difference. While other women are content to foot the bill independently, some find it more comfortable when the male pays for everything. Here, there is no right or wrong answer.
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#13 Opposites Attract
A recipe for disaster is looking for someone completely different from you in any meaningful way. You must have some shared goals and principles. If not, there won't be any glue holding the partnership together. We are attracted to our romantic partners not because they are "opposites" but because of specific personality features, interests, and even biological cues.
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#14 Just Avoid Fighting With Them
It is unhealthy to clench your teeth whenever you argue with your significant other. Thus, rather than remaining silent, switch up your fighting style. Every couple argues, but healthy couples argue respectfully, which is the difference. They make changes to guarantee the relationship's health by using disputes (and learning from them) to better understand one another.
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#15 Time Heals All Wounds
Firstly, time does not heal; it helps to forget. After being hurt, it does take time to heal, but even the passage of hours, days, months, and even years does not ensure that you will be okay. If time cures all wounds, why are there so many grumpy elderly people? The only thing that can heal wounds is making wise decisions about how to treat them. Time doesn't stick broken bones together, but deliberate, careful efforts can.
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#16 Love Comes When You Least Expect It
It's romantic to imagine that the love of your life will appear before you at a coffee shop or that you will lock eyes as they hold the door open for you. In reality, this ideal might be troublesome. Love is not a supernatural emotion that appears at random. People don't automatically fall in love. It is based on commitment, connections, and effort. Thus, believing love appears out of the blue is just romantic nonsense.
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#17 You Can Do Better
Although your family and friends usually mean well when they advise you, there are instances when it might be more damaging than beneficial. If you envision spending the rest of your life with your current S/O, hearing that you can do better than your current partner might make you feel nervous and unsupported. Although they shouldn't have to approve of your companion, your friends, and family should be supportive and able to communicate with you. You must make it clear to everyone that respect should be maintained no matter what.
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#18 Your Perfect Match Is Out There
There's no such thing as the "perfect" match, so if they seem too good to be true — they probably are. Everybody has flaws. It's often just a matter of time before these imperfections come to the surface. Ultimately, if you feel with your heart and soul that someone is worth sticking around, that they are good for you, you will have to learn to take the bad with the good. Still, the 'good' should significantly outweigh the 'bad.'
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#19 Chemistry Means You've Found "The One"
Everyone wants to experience the thrill of love and attraction, but you can't solely count on the butterflies for that. The brain can play tricks on us, sending an electric jolt to the body and convincing us, "yes, this is the one!" However, chemistry can overrule common sense and keep us with someone who isn't good for us. It doesn't matter if the person has the traits you find attractive or seek in your potential partner. It won't work if they don't respond to your needs for an emotional bond. Sorry, butterflies, you can no longer be trusted.
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#20 Forgive And Forget
There is no need for forgetting and forgiving to go hand in hand. In fact, it's preferable to keep the two apart. A successful relationship depends on forgiveness, but forgetting is unnecessary. Better advice is to forgive and move on. Essentially, not forgetting about it helps not to repeat the same mistake; hence, learn from it. To quote Paulo Coelho, "Forgiving changes the perspectives. Forgetting loses the lesson."
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