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50 Failed Tries At Following A Recipe That Led To The Most Hilarious Reviews
Funny,Food,FailsAUG 1, 2023

50 Failed Tries At Following A Recipe That Led To The Most Hilarious Reviews

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A good cook knows that recipes can be often treated as guidelines. However, many a bad cook has a similar line of thinking, just with a vastly different outcome. Now, knowing you are a bad cook is one thing, but a poor craftsperson will blame their tools, up to and including recipes. 
The “I Didn't Have Eggs” online community gathers the bewildering and somewhat infuriating online recipe reviews of people who for some ungodly reason decided to make terrible ingredient substitutions, then went online to rant about the recipe. So get comfortable, upvote the best (or worst) posts, and comment your thoughts below. 

#1 This Guy Gets It

This Guy Gets It
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518points

#2 Cindy Is Tired Of Your Questions

Cindy Is Tired Of Your Questions
388points

#3 "4 Cups Of Apple Cider Vinegar To 2 Bottles Of Wine Was Absurd." Yes It Was

"4 Cups Of Apple Cider Vinegar To 2 Bottles Of Wine Was Absurd." Yes It Was
385points

While many of these are humorous, except perhaps for the poster of the recipe, the amount of culinary ignorance on display can be a bit frightening if you have a dietary restriction for whatever reason. Some people just do not know that surprise, surprise, eggs are not vegan and will happily serve baked goods to vegans who would be none the wiser. This is, perhaps, why some people will simply refuse to eat anything they have not cooked themselves.

The same is just as true for religious dietary restrictions. While, for example, the prohibition on pork, found in Judaism and Islam is pretty well known, some might not understand the variety of products that come from a pig that isn’t just meat. Gelatin, for example, which incidentally is often also not vegan, to the despair of a vegan trying to make smores for the first time.

#4 Substitution Poetry!

Substitution Poetry!
347points

#5 The Best Review Yet

The Best Review Yet
335points

#6 I Wish You Would Shut Up

I Wish You Would Shut Up
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301points

While it might seem strange to deviate from a recipe if you are going through the trouble of finding one in the first place, it’s important to remember that in the age of the internet, the recipe might be from an entirely different continent. US recipes will often mention certain name-brand products that one can’t find elsewhere. All cuisine is based on the best utilization of the products that are actually on hand, so any good cook will make substitutions regularly. 

#7 No Mention Of Corn In A Mexican Crema Recipe

No Mention Of Corn In A Mexican Crema Recipe
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279points

#8 Reading This One Activated My Flight Or Fight Response

Reading This One Activated My Flight Or Fight Response
266points

#9 Big Brain Baking

Big Brain Baking
261points

This is just as true if one has a dietary restriction. Vegans, for example, are no doubt used to regularly modifying recipes and often enjoy good food just as much as everyone else. And as “modern” as some might think it is, there have been vegan substitutions for some items for not just decades, but over a thousand years. For example, “mock duck,” an alternative to duck meat, has existed in China since the 7th century

#10 I Haven't Made It Yet 🙄

I Haven't Made It Yet 🙄
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243points

#11 Recipe For A London Broil Marinade. There Indeed Is No Pepsi Or Coke

Recipe For A London Broil Marinade. There Indeed Is No Pepsi Or Coke
237points

#12 Oh Kimica 🤦learn To Understand Directions Please

Oh Kimica 🤦learn To Understand Directions Please
235points

If one considers tofu as a meat substitute and not just a foodstuff in its own right, then “vegan meat” dates back to around 200 BCE, giving it considerably more pedigree than entire recipes and national cuisines. And it’s not just limited to East Asian food, there are ancient Greek sources that describe mock anchovies made from boiled and shredded turnips, mixed with oil and salt. 

#13 Yes, Cumin Beef Tastes Like Cumin

Yes, Cumin Beef Tastes Like Cumin
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229points

#14 This Was On A Recipe For Peach Ice Cream

This Was On A Recipe For Peach Ice Cream
220points

#15 Thanks For Your Life Story!

Thanks For Your Life Story!
218points

In fact, while often overlooked, meat alternatives were also quite popular in Medieval Europe, as people who participated in Lent would abstain from meat, eggs, and dairy products. As one can imagine, there was not a vegan section at the grocery store, nor a grocery store in general, so people had to be clever about what they ate over lent, as just bread might get exhaustingly boring quite soon. 

#16 Christopher Has Had Enough Of Reading About Other People's Substitutions

Christopher Has Had Enough Of Reading About Other People's Substitutions
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206points

#17 Do You Even Know What A Potato Is? 1 Star!

Do You Even Know What A Potato Is? 1 Star!
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198points

#18 I’m Not Sure If This Counts But It Made Me Laugh

I’m Not Sure If This Counts But It Made Me Laugh
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194points

Milk substitutes are perhaps just as old, though one needs to keep in mind that these aren’t one-to-one with dairy substitutes. One can’t exactly make cheese out of oat milk, for example. However, soy milk and coconut milk have been used in lieu of milk for around a thousand years in India, China, and Southeast Asia. So the “soy” part of an often derided “soy latte” is considerably older than the latte. 

#19 Geoffrey Doesn't Like Full English Breakfast

Geoffrey Doesn't Like Full English Breakfast
192points

#20 This Bourbon Chicken Recipe Review

This Bourbon Chicken Recipe Review
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180points
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