Someone Asks People Online To Share Parenting Tips That Might Sound Smart, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting Advice, And 30 People Provide

Withholding the truth from your kids.

After two of my grandparents died. My parents took it upon themselves to not tell me my grandfather passed away while I was at boarding school. Got a very random text from my estranged sister saying "it's a bummer what happened to grandad".

Second time my mum texted me while I was living abroad to tell me my other grandad is in hospital sick. After an hour catch up on skype with my dad, turned out he was in hospital... But dead.

So never withhold the truth. It f***s with our heads. FOR LIFE.

"Keep the household quiet when baby is sleeping."

We are a busy household 4 dogs 2 cats a 2 year old and a 2 month old. If I want to blend a smoothie, listen to music or vacuum the house I do it. We do not tiptoe, my kids sleep through noise.

This post made me realise my parents didn't raise me so well.

They're pretty old, so they had old fashioned parenting methods. I got spanked until I was 7 or 8 until they decided kids were not for spanking anymore, which isn't that bad. But I also got coddled my whole life. Everything was made easy for me, and I was always told I was the smartest and prettiest and most capable. Left me with high self esteem and virtually no majorly bad experiences aside from an abusive sister, but now at 17 I'm still not allowed to do ANYTHING for myself. I'm not trusted with any tasks at all, nor am I given any freedom. Worst of all, I'm given no chances to fail because I have no choices. My mom makes all my choices forcibly so that I never suffer any consequences ever.

As for the high self esteem, I had to do a lot of therapy to recover from (among other things) the crippling realization that I am not, in fact, the smartest and prettiest. Hit me like a train, basically lost all sense of self worth for a while

My sister has the habit of buying both of my nephews presents, but she does it in a way that she thinks is fair. I mean, say it's my oldest nephews birthday. Well she buys them both toys so that they don't feel left out. Same for the younger one. If say, one of them gets good grades or has done something good, they both get presents.

I mean, that's awesome, but I feel that that might be a bad parenting habit since she's spoiling them both at the same time. And most of the time, the oldest fights over the younger one's toys because he choose something that interested him later on. So I don't think it's working.

You have the right to invade your child's privacy because it's for their own good.

There are specific situations where I think doing this can be condoned. But I'm talking about those parents who go through the kid's diary, social platforms, closets, everything - just because their kid is acting secretive or because the parents "have a hunch." Children of parents like that will grow up to be mistrusting of others, among other issues. I would know, thanks mom.

Your kid probably won't act so sketchy around you if you taught them early about good communication and trust. Snooping around their stuff and not giving them their own space isnot good for either of you. Trust is not a one-way deal.

I think its wrong if a parent uses financial leverage against their child's personal choices, such as where to attend college. "We won't pay for you tuition unless you do THIS, attend THIS school, and follow all of our rules".

This may seem like a well intended way to guide your children away from harm and keep them on their best path.

However, I've found that it can be harmful. Your parents try to know what's best for you, generally speaking, but it is still a form of emotional manipulation that I don't think is appropriate for a 17 or 18 year old, or anyone old enough to be making choices about their own living situations.

By the same standards, a parent might say, if you choose to marry this person, we will not help you cover the costs of the wedding.

If your parents really respect who you are as an adult, they should give you unselfish support that doesn't vary depending on how they would potentially make a different choice in your scenario.

extracrispyoriginal said:
Teach your child that the sun goes down every day because it's mad at them.

PM-YOUR-CUTE-SMILE replied:
Holy [smokes] imagine them freaking out during a solar eclipse.

"TIMMY WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

superjerkingoff187 replied:
Ah, this reminds me of the time where my dog [peed] on my grill and we were cooking burgers and there was flames, we in humor mode made him think that his [pee] set it on fire. He doesn't [pee] on things anymore.

Let them beat you at games.

Nooooooooo. Play a game with a good handicap mechanic (randomness or explicit) that lets you beat them closer to 50% of the time and ideally lets you adjust the handicap as they start winning more. Or switch games to something more complex but keep its randomness at a level so that they can beat you legitimately but definitely not always.

They need to learn how to deal with loss, how to adjust their behavior based on what's happening to them. Forget that oft-touted idea of "teaching them that things will be handed to them" (which is true though I detest the bleak pessimism we often see it portrayed with), more importantly you're lying to them about which things that happen to them are important and can be learned from.

Put another way: a lot of parenting ideas seek to shield children from consequences. F**k. That. B******t. Also don't give them all the consequences all at once. Let them face consequences, but at a level appropriate to where they are in life and ever increasing in severity, with spikes and lulls in relative difficulty for them to handle.

Source: not a parent, but a classically trained game designer.

haroldburgess said:
Give them treats and rewards EVERY time they do a chore or something around the house.

Philip_De_Bowl replied:
"Your reward is getting to live here, the clothes on your back, and the toys you play with!"

~ My Dad

iSmellMusic replied:
That's what my dad says too, but in his defense I'm now 20 and I want to move out.

Sweetune replied:
My dad told me that anyone living in his house will have to do chores.

dabisnit replied:
After the age of 18, you're no longer a resident but a guest. That's what my dad explained to me.

Pocario said:
Surround your baby with lots of pillows so that he's comfortable and won't roll over.

themadhattergirl replied:
Also, put lots of stuffed animals in the crib with your baby!

Seriously, don't do this.

Chavezz13 replied:
How come?

epipremnumaureum replied:
Basically a risk of suffocating. You need to make sure a baby is warm and comfortable but consider that a baby can't move stuff that gets in the way.