75 Facts That Are Blunt, Useless, And Kind Of Mean

If all known souls are outside of a structure, Firefighters will not actually go into a burning building to save your cat.

The sticker you have on your door telling me about your animals? That one in the tiny writing right above the door k**b? I'm either A) too busy breaking the door down to read it, or B) not going close to the building because it's fully involved.

exception: If I see your dog/cat/pet rock while looking for your (probably) corpse, I'll grab it on my way out.

Exception 2: You've got a kid with big doe eyes asking me to save your goldfish. I totally did that once, and I have to say...it was *THE* best save of my career.

I work in pest control. I don't eat out.

-Correction, I don't eat out because I have seen s**t in restaurants.

Pandas are f*****g idiots and would be extinct without constant human intervention. They forget to eat, forget to mate, roll over and squish their young, and are mostly oblivious to the idea that they are carnivores.

Edit: Carnivores by taxonomy, not by diet. They're supposedly omnivores with a preference for s****y, barely-sustaining leaves.

Edit 2: Wild pandas do not exhibit the traits I described. Unfortunately, there aren't many wild pandas.

Mother Teresa is a cruel person. DO NOT SAY THIS IN YOGA! they will ask you to leave, they love that b***h.

I was a slot technician in a casino for years. I'd have customers go into a bonus where they had to choose a box or item for their bonus. They'd often ask me which one to choose. I always replied "Do you want me to ruin it for you?". Truth is, no matter what you pick, it is already determined what the outcome will be. If the machine is going to show you that you win $7, it doesn't matter what box you pick on the screen. Technically, they are ALL $7.

Edit: I see there are some casino bosses here that are trying to discredit me. I have been a contractor that was hired by these same people to come and install/upgrade/train their people. I can build a casino from the ground up. I am not the average tech that clears bill jams. I was offered supervisor positions at casinos multiple times and even offered to work on the Vegas strip at an MGM owned resort. I am licensed to work in about 10 states. I did start at a casino as a regular tech, BUT I have 10 years IT/electronics experience before starting. I worked as an overnight tech where I was solely responsible for a gaming floor of 1800+ machines for 90% of my shift. I have experience with player tracking...Bally SDS, Konami NAMB and the Oasis System. I wanted to validate myself. I'll try to answer any questions that anyone has...

Those V for Vendetta mask you buy is actually licensed by a major media conglomerate. Every time you buy the mask to make a statement, you are padding some corporation's wallet.

'Wasabi' sauce with your sushi is probably just horseradish which has been dyed green.

The girl who voiced Ducky in the land before time died a violent d***h at the hands of her father.

Edit: Yes she was in 'All Dogs Go To Heaven' as well.

If voting made any difference, they wouldn't let us do it.

-Mark Twain.

Because your perception of time changes as you age, the last 50 years of your life feel as long as the first 25.

There is a very strong likelihood that you will not find buried pirate treasure.

If you're in highschool at the moment, the majority of your friends won't even be your acquaintances in the next 6 years.

The FDA has requirements for how much insect contamination a food product can have, and still be considered edible.
When a company has too much insect contamination, they don't throw that food out, they just add more "clean" food to pass inspection.

Green grass that covers nearly every lawn in America is not native to the Americas. The Europeans brought it over when they settled and it slowly dominated prairie grass.

The oldest living person? yeah everyone alive when she was born is d**d now. all of them. on the planet.

Everyone here was born too late to explore the Earth and too early to really explore space.

When you d*e, very likely you will suffer at least a little bit. The best you can realistically hope for is a brief time when you are conscious as you asphyxiate. To put it another way, it takes about the same time to d*e like that as it does to drown. That's if your lucky. Many, many people suffer for hours/days/weeks/months and even years before they pop the twig. The concept of dying peacefully in your sleep is a very few and far between occurrence.

Disney's straight to video movie "Snow Buddies" had puppies d*e in the process. There was a disease going around k*****g them, and It was easier to just replace the puppies instead of trying to cure the disease.

5 puppies died, and 15 were sick with parvo.

*Indiana Jones plays no role in the outcome of the story. If he weren’t in the film, it would turn out exactly the same.*.

Michael Banks, the little boy from Mary Poppins, most likely died as a soldier in WWI.

Edit: because there seems to be a confusion for some reason, I mean the character Michael Banks, not the actor who played him.