It’s crazy how much some unlucky incidents and totally random things can change the course of our day. In reality, every one of us can go from joyful to plain wrecked in a moment for countless reasons. Spilling your takeaway coffee on a blouse is one, getting a call you didn’t expect is another, and the list goes on.
Bored Panda reached out to Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author of the book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do,” to find out more about why such random things like spilled coffee can be an instant day-breaker. Amy explained that it all has to do with us letting negative thoughts in.
“When you believe things like the world is unfair or nothing in your life ever goes right, you experience upsetting feelings.” It’s especially true “when something doesn't work out the way you hoped.”
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But what if we teach ourselves to become immune to both small and large misfortunes? Amy suggests that we can, in fact, train positive thinking. “When you notice unhelpful thoughts like, 'This is awful,' or 'Nothing ever goes right,' respond to the thoughts in a more productive way.”
This is the essential point when you can still save your day from breaking. This is why you should try to reframe the sudden negative thoughts into something more realistic. “For example, if you're thinking it's unfair that you have to wait for traffic, remind yourself, 'There are millions of cars on the road. Traffic jams are bound to happen. I'll be OK,'" Amy suggested.
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Of course, there are people with a personality that makes it easier for them to be positive, but it doesn’t mean all the others should stay in misery. “Everyone can develop a healthier, more realistic mindset,” Amy urges.
“You can train your brain to look for the good in the world and develop the mental strength you need to perform and feel your best.” Start from small steps like reframing negative thoughts into realistic facts, and grow your positive thinking into a habit.
Accepting things for what they are and not for how they make you feel can be truly therapeutic. In this way, you no longer blame yourself for something as ridiculous as spilled coffee and the day, it keeps on shining.
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