Let’s be real: if your spouse cheats on you, it’s pretty much up to you how you react to it. Some couples manage to work through it, but for others it’s the final nail in the coffin for the whole relationship. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles.
One woman turned to an online community to vent after her ex-husband, who had an affair while she was pregnant, tried guilt-tripping her into babysitting his lovechild three days a week. Shocked, she refused but now wonders if that was a jerk move.
More info: Reddit
If your spouse has an affair, it’s up to you to decide if you want to work through it, or call it quits and move on with your life
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One woman’s husband cheated on her while she was pregnant, and ended up having a kid with his affair partner
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
To add insult to injury, he and his affair partner, now wife, actually asked the woman to support them with baby stuff, which she refused to do
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Then the unthinkable happened: her ex asked her to start babysitting his lovechild three days a week after school
Image credits: Paigentreeyn
When she refused, he tried guilt-tripping her, so now she’s turned to an online community to ask if shutting down his request for free childcare makes her a jerk
When the original poster (OP) discovered her ex was cheating on her while she was pregnant, her whole world flipped; especially when his affair partner ended up having a baby just months after she did. For years, they avoided all face-to-face contact during custody swaps. Once their son grew older, interactions became blissfully minimal.
Still, drama found a way back in. Her ex and his now-wife once demanded she supply baby gear for their child because they “couldn’t afford it,” even calling her stuck-up for refusing. After that, communication moved strictly to a parenting app, and OP only responded when absolutely necessary. Life stayed peaceful... until recently.
Out of nowhere, her ex asked her to babysit his daughter three days a week. She gave him a firm no (multiple times) and straight-up ignored his barrage of follow-ups. His wife then texted her repeatedly, insisting she “be a better mother” and treat the lovechild like family so the half-siblings could grow up close. OP, however, refused to budge.
Things escalated fast: guilt-tripping, their son being used to pressure her, threats to show up at her door, and even an attorney’s half-baked attempt to force childcare duties on her. Her lawyer shut it down immediately but now OP’s left wondering if standing her ground makes her the villain, or simply a mom protecting her boundaries.
Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)
To be honest, OP’s ex sounds like an entitled jerk. You know the type: strutting through life like the whole world owes them something, and heaven forbid you don’t buckle to their demands. How do people get to be like this, though? And, if you’re one of them, what’s the best way to change your stinky attitude? We went searching for answers.
According to WebMD, entitlement is a narcissistic personality trait. While it’s not fully understood how this mentality develops, it may have something to do with social factors, like the environment they grew up in, the way their parents handled them, whether adults solved their problems for them, and how they’re treated by authority figures.
In her article for SPSP, Emily Zitek writes that, when an entitled person makes unreasonable demands of you, it’s best not to cave, since that could make them even more certain that their entitlement is justified. Take the time to explain to them why saying no is fair, since perceptions of unfairness can actually stoke their sense of entitlement.
The pros over at VeryWellMind say that, if you recognize an outsized sense of entitlement in yourself, don’t lose hope. You can overcome it by understanding you’re not actually entitled to anything, helping others without expecting anything in return, learning the difference between needs and wants, and cultivating a sense of gratitude.
OP isn’t obligated in any way, legal or otherwise, to handle the childcare of a kid that isn’t hers, no matter what her lousy ex and his wife say. Karma’s finally come calling for them, and they kinda deserve it.
What’s your take? Should OP be the bigger person and just take on the babysitting, or should she stick to her boundaries at all costs? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers slammed the couple for acting so entitled and seemed to agree that the original poster was definitely not the jerk in the situation
