There’s been at least one awkward situation in your life where the urge to crawl into a hole and never come back out was almost overpowering. In some cases, you may even need to explain yourself and give the necessary “it’s not what it looks like” spiel to get yourself out of that jam.
We’ve all been there. Some moments turn out to be memories we would want to bury deep down, but others are worth looking back on with a bunch of laughs. The stories you’re about to read may fall under either category, depending on how you look at them.
These were responses from a Reddit thread from more than a decade ago, which remains relevant today. We’d also love to hear about your own anecdotes in the comments.
#21
Year 10 had just ended, school ended a few hours early. A bunch of guys and girls came round to my house. We swam in the pool, then decided to order pizza. We decided we would mess with the pizza guy and shock him when he came in. Guys and girls swapped clothes, I got roped up to a computer chair in my undies. One of the girls covered me in chocolate sauce and put some sort of gag in my mouth. I held the cash for the pizza in one hand. We heard a car pull up to the driveway, so everyone hid and got ready come come out cross-dressed with their assorted props.
My Mum opens the door to see me tied up covered in sauce, cash in one hand. Everyone scatters, except for me who was tied down. She had no idea that school had ended early and I had invited anyone around let alone 15 people who were all currently cross-dressed. By the time I finished explaining what was going on, the pizza guy had come to the door. He still got a good shock but not as good as it could have been.
My Mum opens the door to see me tied up covered in sauce, cash in one hand. Everyone scatters, except for me who was tied down. She had no idea that school had ended early and I had invited anyone around let alone 15 people who were all currently cross-dressed. By the time I finished explaining what was going on, the pizza guy had come to the door. He still got a good shock but not as good as it could have been.
14points
#22
My sister's friend use to work for a mortician. His job was to pick up the bodies during the night shift. Every now and then he'd be on his way home when someone would call asking for a pick up. Instead of driving all the way back to the morgue to pick up the designated mortician car and then driving to the house and back to the morgue, he decided to put the body in the back of his sedan. The one night he gets pulled over by a cop. The cop commented on his brake light being out and never found the body.
13points
#23
So there I was...
Back in high school I drove a white chevy venture. It wasn't in the best shape, had some scratches and dings, a big thing of black plastic hanging off the front bottom of the car (I've been told it's a splash guard), etc. I was just starting to grow facial hair and hadn't shaved in a while so I had a nasty looking "beard" thing and mexi-stache. Also, I had about 16 inches of curly red hair.
I had returned from a camping trip recently and still had all my gear in the van, sleeping bags, Pringles cans, McDonalds wrappers, and so on.
So anyways, it's a Monday and I've got to take my two little brothers to early morning swimming with me (5:30) and as we leave the house I asked them if they reeeeally wanted to go to swimming. They naturally said no, so we drove for a bit, then turned off onto a side street and pulled over by a tall hedge to take a nap.
After a while my youngest bro says he has to go [to the bathroom], so I tell him to just open the slidey door and go in the hedge which he proceeds to do. A few seconds later I notice there's a sheriff pulled up behind me and he's approaching my window. Yup, he's seen my little brother and then he sees the inside of my van.
Needless to say he didn't buy my story and called my parents, (Which mortified me cause I had never had a run in with cops).
Back in high school I drove a white chevy venture. It wasn't in the best shape, had some scratches and dings, a big thing of black plastic hanging off the front bottom of the car (I've been told it's a splash guard), etc. I was just starting to grow facial hair and hadn't shaved in a while so I had a nasty looking "beard" thing and mexi-stache. Also, I had about 16 inches of curly red hair.
I had returned from a camping trip recently and still had all my gear in the van, sleeping bags, Pringles cans, McDonalds wrappers, and so on.
So anyways, it's a Monday and I've got to take my two little brothers to early morning swimming with me (5:30) and as we leave the house I asked them if they reeeeally wanted to go to swimming. They naturally said no, so we drove for a bit, then turned off onto a side street and pulled over by a tall hedge to take a nap.
After a while my youngest bro says he has to go [to the bathroom], so I tell him to just open the slidey door and go in the hedge which he proceeds to do. A few seconds later I notice there's a sheriff pulled up behind me and he's approaching my window. Yup, he's seen my little brother and then he sees the inside of my van.
Needless to say he didn't buy my story and called my parents, (Which mortified me cause I had never had a run in with cops).
13points
#24
When I was 11 or 12 a bunch of my friends decided it would be awesome to tie someone up and send them flying down the hill on a skateboard. I was the youngest one so I got to go first. So they tied me up and as they were carrying me onto the skateboard, my friend stumbled and dropped me face first. So my face hits the skateboard and my nose starts to bleed like a water fountain. A lady walks by us and sees a little boy tied up with a nose bleed surrounded by a bunch of teenagers. She obviously thought they just beat me up so she tells them to scram, comes over unties me and gives me some tissues for my nose bleed. Then she asked where I lived took me home and told my mother everything. Boy did I have a lot of explaining to do.
13points
#25
Me and my roommates came home late one night from a night of drinking. It's about 2 a.m., and there is a knock on our back door. I open it up and there is a tall, muscular fellow there wearing only a t-shirt and tennis shoes, cupping his unmentionables and covered in bloody gashes. He says he can explain, that the cops are after him, and asks to come in. My other roommate comes down and is like "Absolutely, come right in! No one comes to someone's door [bare] in the middle of the night to start trouble. You come because you need help, right?"
So the guy starts in on this story of how they are at a house party up the street. They are loud and have had a few noise complaints, so the cops are essentially sitting on the corner just waiting to bust them. He thinks it would be a good idea to take his pants off and go streaking by a parked police cruiser. Hint: It was not a good idea. Two cops start chasing him, another goes into the house to start interrogating his friends.
Did I mention this was a tall muscular dude? He runs laps around the overweight police men, then takes off across a field to either outrun them or hide. As I understand, he distances himself by about 75 yards, then runs headlong into a barbed-wire fence. The barbs had left huge gashes in his stomach, chest and legs, but he untangles himself and hides in a culvert as the cops roam the neighborhood with flashlights looking for him.
Flash forward 2 hours, he sees us come home, across from the field where he is hiding, and makes his way to our back door and recounts his tale. We give him a beer, a pair of gym shorts, and escort him back to his house party, where he is greeted with raucous laughter, applause, and more then a few disgruntled looks from the people he had left to be interrogated by the police for an hour. The entire party covered for him, claiming that they didn't know him and that he had not left his pants with them (they hid them, and his wallet). It all worked out.
So the guy starts in on this story of how they are at a house party up the street. They are loud and have had a few noise complaints, so the cops are essentially sitting on the corner just waiting to bust them. He thinks it would be a good idea to take his pants off and go streaking by a parked police cruiser. Hint: It was not a good idea. Two cops start chasing him, another goes into the house to start interrogating his friends.
Did I mention this was a tall muscular dude? He runs laps around the overweight police men, then takes off across a field to either outrun them or hide. As I understand, he distances himself by about 75 yards, then runs headlong into a barbed-wire fence. The barbs had left huge gashes in his stomach, chest and legs, but he untangles himself and hides in a culvert as the cops roam the neighborhood with flashlights looking for him.
Flash forward 2 hours, he sees us come home, across from the field where he is hiding, and makes his way to our back door and recounts his tale. We give him a beer, a pair of gym shorts, and escort him back to his house party, where he is greeted with raucous laughter, applause, and more then a few disgruntled looks from the people he had left to be interrogated by the police for an hour. The entire party covered for him, claiming that they didn't know him and that he had not left his pants with them (they hid them, and his wallet). It all worked out.
12points
#26
A girlfriend once found another woman's bra in my bed. I hadn't cheated on her.
Full story: The weekend before, I went to visit a friend out of town. I had a roommate at the time, and I arrived back on Monday. I had a small bedroom, and my bed was pushed up against the wall.
I'm not sure what night that week, but my girlfriend stayed over. She was much more of a fanatic about making the bed in the morning than I was, and she was pushing my bed away from the wall slightly ... and a bra fell to the floor. It's not hers. She was very upset, but apparently the look of astonishment on my face was so genuine that she gave me the benefit of the doubt for the time being.
Winds up, my roommate had some friends over during the weekend I was gone. Without telling me, he let a couple sleep over *in my bed* and she apparently forgot her bra that morning.
Full story: The weekend before, I went to visit a friend out of town. I had a roommate at the time, and I arrived back on Monday. I had a small bedroom, and my bed was pushed up against the wall.
I'm not sure what night that week, but my girlfriend stayed over. She was much more of a fanatic about making the bed in the morning than I was, and she was pushing my bed away from the wall slightly ... and a bra fell to the floor. It's not hers. She was very upset, but apparently the look of astonishment on my face was so genuine that she gave me the benefit of the doubt for the time being.
Winds up, my roommate had some friends over during the weekend I was gone. Without telling me, he let a couple sleep over *in my bed* and she apparently forgot her bra that morning.
12points
#27
My wife's lab wound up in the possession of the corpse of an orangutan [from] the local zoo. They weren't really sure what they were going to wind up doing with it, so for the time being, they preserved the corpse in a vat of formaldehyde or whatever the hell liquid you would use to preserve the body of an orangutan, and stuck it in storage.
Fast forward several months. A bored security guard on the night shift checks that particular storage room, and decides to start poking around. He opens the vat, presumably because he is an idiot.
Now, there's a key point about this particular orangutan; he'd had some kind of condition that caused almost all of his hair to fall out before he died. So this dude opens the vat, and is greeted by a hairless ape thing floating in a vat of pungent liquid. He freaks out, because he can't see the face, and the most common hairless ape that people see? Yeah, that would be a human.
So my wife's boss ended up in the lab at 3:00 in the morning, explaining to the police that there hadn't been a [crime]. Security guard got fired for opening things he shouldn't open.
Fast forward several months. A bored security guard on the night shift checks that particular storage room, and decides to start poking around. He opens the vat, presumably because he is an idiot.
Now, there's a key point about this particular orangutan; he'd had some kind of condition that caused almost all of his hair to fall out before he died. So this dude opens the vat, and is greeted by a hairless ape thing floating in a vat of pungent liquid. He freaks out, because he can't see the face, and the most common hairless ape that people see? Yeah, that would be a human.
So my wife's boss ended up in the lab at 3:00 in the morning, explaining to the police that there hadn't been a [crime]. Security guard got fired for opening things he shouldn't open.
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12points
#28
I got a hole in my favorite sweater when I was around 12. It was made of that stretchy, thin material that's impossible to mend without being obvious, so I was looking for alternatives to save it. I got this idea that nail polish would keep the hole from spreading, but I didn't have any clear, so I used a dark maroon color that matched the shirt.
The hole was on the chest of the shirt, so was eye-level for most of the boys in my 6th grade class. I figured I had to do something to make my bra less obvious through the hole, so I grabbed a bra I didn't like and painted it with the same nail polish. Perfect.
Mom found the bra first and accepted that I had spilled nail polish on it. I'm not sure why I didn't tell the truth, but I was a kid and kids are weird.
Then my mom found the sweater. All she saw was a hole with a dark, crusty ring and she assumed I had been smoking and had burned a hole in the sweater. I had never smoked in my life, never left the house without her except to go to school, and had no way to get to a store that sold cigarettes without a car.
Yet I was still grounded. For smoking. She didn't believe my story, not even paired with the painted bra.
**tl;dr: Painted my shirt with nail polish, my mom jumped to conclusions**.
The hole was on the chest of the shirt, so was eye-level for most of the boys in my 6th grade class. I figured I had to do something to make my bra less obvious through the hole, so I grabbed a bra I didn't like and painted it with the same nail polish. Perfect.
Mom found the bra first and accepted that I had spilled nail polish on it. I'm not sure why I didn't tell the truth, but I was a kid and kids are weird.
Then my mom found the sweater. All she saw was a hole with a dark, crusty ring and she assumed I had been smoking and had burned a hole in the sweater. I had never smoked in my life, never left the house without her except to go to school, and had no way to get to a store that sold cigarettes without a car.
Yet I was still grounded. For smoking. She didn't believe my story, not even paired with the painted bra.
**tl;dr: Painted my shirt with nail polish, my mom jumped to conclusions**.
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11points
#29
When I was 12 years old, my little sister was 1. I was getting her ready for her bath one day when I had the overwhelming desire to bite her... As in "OMGyouaresocuteIjustwanttobiteyou!!!!". So I tried to bite her bum through her diaper but accidentally chomped right down on her bum cheek. She cried and there were teeth marks on her bum so I became worried that my parents would think I was some sort of weirdo/perv/sociopath. They came in to find out why she was crying and when I explained they didn't even get mad. They totally understood my need to bite her. She really was that cute.
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10points
#30
A couple of years back I was staying in a hostel in London. I got assigned to a 3-person room with a couple already occupying it. I stuffed my bags under the bed where nobody could see it and used a locker in the corridor for my valuables, then hit the town. I returned at about 3 AM, unlocked the door, and since the room was dark and I did't know whether my temporary roommates were sleeping, I decided not to hit the light switch. Instead, I pulled out my cellphone and used it's vague light to inspect the beds and determined that they were empy.
I turned around and was just about to make my way towards the light switch when the couple returned, unlocked the door and hit the lightswitch, revealing me, standing fully dressed in jacket in a jeans jacket and leather gloves in the middle of the room for no apparent reason. They stopped and looked at me in disbelief for a moment before I introduced myself. That was an awkward first night, but the next day I explained my side of the story and we all laughed about it.
**TL;DR: A couple return to their room in a hostel at 3 AM, flip the lightswitch and discover a strange man (me) they've never seen before, standing in the middle of the previously dark room for no apparent reason.**.
I turned around and was just about to make my way towards the light switch when the couple returned, unlocked the door and hit the lightswitch, revealing me, standing fully dressed in jacket in a jeans jacket and leather gloves in the middle of the room for no apparent reason. They stopped and looked at me in disbelief for a moment before I introduced myself. That was an awkward first night, but the next day I explained my side of the story and we all laughed about it.
**TL;DR: A couple return to their room in a hostel at 3 AM, flip the lightswitch and discover a strange man (me) they've never seen before, standing in the middle of the previously dark room for no apparent reason.**.
10points
#31
I was pledging a sorority, and one time during a pledge activity we split up into two groups to caravan to a certain destination. They split the pledges and actives up into two groups. My group started out for the destination first and we assumed the other group wasn't too far behind us. After about 20 minutes they hadn't showed up so we set back out looking for them. We found them on the side of the road...with two cop cars...the actives were handcuffs and the pledges looke really scared.
We pulled over and asked what was going on. The pledges told us that instead of taking a larger vehicle, the actives took a pickup truck, blindfolded the pledges and had them lie down under a tarp while the actives were in the cab. They got pulled over because the liscence plate was muddy, and the cops found the girls blindfolded in the truck bed. They asked the girls if they were alright, but they didn't respond thinking that the cops were actually our fellow frat brothers trying to mess with them. My group started explaining the situation as well, and our story was the same as theirs. The cops let everyone go with not even a warning for the muddy plate.
TL;DR: My not-so-bright sorority sisters tied pledges up, put them in the back of a truck, and got caught by the cops.
We pulled over and asked what was going on. The pledges told us that instead of taking a larger vehicle, the actives took a pickup truck, blindfolded the pledges and had them lie down under a tarp while the actives were in the cab. They got pulled over because the liscence plate was muddy, and the cops found the girls blindfolded in the truck bed. They asked the girls if they were alright, but they didn't respond thinking that the cops were actually our fellow frat brothers trying to mess with them. My group started explaining the situation as well, and our story was the same as theirs. The cops let everyone go with not even a warning for the muddy plate.
TL;DR: My not-so-bright sorority sisters tied pledges up, put them in the back of a truck, and got caught by the cops.
10points
#32
About 6 years ago, my now-wife, then-girlfriend and I were at her mother's house. We had all been up early doing something that I forget now, so everyone was tired. My girlfriend and her mother end up falling asleep on the couch. Supervision of the girlfriend's 4 year old twin brother and sister apparently defaults to me. Well, they're playing harmlessly for a while, requiring minimal intervention from me, so I accidentally pass out in an armchair. I come-to about 20 minutes later--no kids in sight. I start checking rooms, heading into the kitchen, which is next to a mudroom, which contains the bathroom. I catch a faint hint of melody on the breeze... I go into the mudroom and can now hear a raucous rendition of "Row row row your boat." I pull back the sliding door on the bathroom only to discover two [bare] little kids "rowing" in the toilet with a plunger and a toilet brush, belting out the lyrics and laughing hysterically. Obligatory "get the heck out of the toilet and get your clothes on!" follows. They now decide to ignore this and run screaming from the bathroom and through the house. Girlfriend and her mother pop awake just in time to see me chasing after the two [bare], screaming children as they pass by the living room. I vehemently attempt to explain the situation. It still to this day gets brought up, "Oh haha, don't fall asleep if MurphysLaw's babysitting..."
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10points
#33
Someone invited me to follow some cabaret thing on facebook, so I did. Later, I was checking updates in front of some friends, and BAM: gay stripping.
9points
#34
A friend once popped the trunk of his car, revealing a [bare] man, and the explanation was (relatively) reasonable.
Here's the full story:
First, some background info. I live in Pennsylvania and you're allowed to (and usually have to) pump your own gas. In New Jersey, it's illegal to pump your own gas.
So, some friends are driving around New Jersey. Said friend is the member of a band and, with him, is the other 3 members of his band, his girlfriend, and another friend. That's 6 people. The car only has seats for 5. So, on a trip to the gas station, one bandmate figures it'd be fun to ride in the trunk.
This guy is a bit crazy in the best way. On the way from the venue to the gas station, while in the trunk, he gets [undressed] save for a pink bandana around his neck so he can surprise the [hell] out of everyone when they get back.
The car arrives at the gas station and, realizing they have to let someone pump their gas, they pull up to a pump and an attendant comes to help them. When he asks my friend to open the door covering the gas valve thingy, with him being used to manually opening it himself (as opposed to using the automatic button inside the car), he fumbles around for the button...
And pops the trunk.
There lays a [bare] man, who looks a bit like a beardless Jesus, wearing nothing but a pink bandana.
The best part is my friend didn't even realize it was the wrong button. So, the attendant just stands there awkwardly as the guy in the trunk tries to shut the trunk while everyone in the car sits looking bored with straight faces.
EDIT: I forgot to mention: I told them he should have gotten out of the trunk, walked over, opened the door on the gas thingy, walked back, got back into the trunk, and closed it. Nothing more amazing could have happened.
Here's the full story:
First, some background info. I live in Pennsylvania and you're allowed to (and usually have to) pump your own gas. In New Jersey, it's illegal to pump your own gas.
So, some friends are driving around New Jersey. Said friend is the member of a band and, with him, is the other 3 members of his band, his girlfriend, and another friend. That's 6 people. The car only has seats for 5. So, on a trip to the gas station, one bandmate figures it'd be fun to ride in the trunk.
This guy is a bit crazy in the best way. On the way from the venue to the gas station, while in the trunk, he gets [undressed] save for a pink bandana around his neck so he can surprise the [hell] out of everyone when they get back.
The car arrives at the gas station and, realizing they have to let someone pump their gas, they pull up to a pump and an attendant comes to help them. When he asks my friend to open the door covering the gas valve thingy, with him being used to manually opening it himself (as opposed to using the automatic button inside the car), he fumbles around for the button...
And pops the trunk.
There lays a [bare] man, who looks a bit like a beardless Jesus, wearing nothing but a pink bandana.
The best part is my friend didn't even realize it was the wrong button. So, the attendant just stands there awkwardly as the guy in the trunk tries to shut the trunk while everyone in the car sits looking bored with straight faces.
EDIT: I forgot to mention: I told them he should have gotten out of the trunk, walked over, opened the door on the gas thingy, walked back, got back into the trunk, and closed it. Nothing more amazing could have happened.
9points
#35
As a kid (maybe 5th grade) I had made friends with someone at a playground while my brother played baseball. He was wearing a black hoodie. I didn't actually get his name, so I tried calling out to get his attention"hey blackie! Blackie!" Well the one I was trying to reach was white, some other slightly older children nearby however, were not. Nothing really came of it but I was scared I was going to get beat up.
I spent that game and the next hiding in my parents car. I remember them coming up to the car and either realized how scared I was or something and they didn't bother me after that.
I spent that game and the next hiding in my parents car. I remember them coming up to the car and either realized how scared I was or something and they didn't bother me after that.
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9points
#36
Filming something for a web series I used to be in. My character is a former child actor that has gotten drunk and is convinced that another character is Santa Claus. I've kidnapped him and I'm holding him at katana-point, while he is tied to a chair.
Well at some point the police are called to one of the apartments in the building. We are filming in the garage just off the building's main gate. They took a peek in and, well, luckily the cameras and lights somewhat bolstered our "film makers" claim.
Another time while filming the same series police arrived and drew guns. We were practicing a sword-fighting scene and someone called the police on us. Seriously: guns drawn, "drop your weapons", the whole bit. Good times.
Well at some point the police are called to one of the apartments in the building. We are filming in the garage just off the building's main gate. They took a peek in and, well, luckily the cameras and lights somewhat bolstered our "film makers" claim.
Another time while filming the same series police arrived and drew guns. We were practicing a sword-fighting scene and someone called the police on us. Seriously: guns drawn, "drop your weapons", the whole bit. Good times.
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9points
#37
My friend was driving his car through a suburban back road. I was riding shotgun, dressed as Jesus and there was a man in back wearing only a yellow rainslicker and aviator sunglasses. We were pulled over by a cop and upon looking in the vehicle, he saw a wooden cross, a realistic looking doll covered in chocolate sauce, and an antique shotgun.
"We were shooting a movie, officer, I swear."
"We were shooting a movie, officer, I swear."
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8points
#38
I was walking down stairs with a friend on our way to the cafe after class. I don't remember what we were talking about but I tend to use a lot of hand gestures when i talk. Well when we got to the bottom of the stairs I ended up pointing and saying, quite loudly, "I would do that!".
It wasn't until a few seconds into my pose that I realized that i was pointing directly at the girl that was walking in front of us, and looking down there as well. I've never wanted to explain something so bad in my life. Tl;dr- accidentally yelled "I would do that!" While i was inadvertently looking at a girl's [behind]. She wasn't pleased.
It wasn't until a few seconds into my pose that I realized that i was pointing directly at the girl that was walking in front of us, and looking down there as well. I've never wanted to explain something so bad in my life. Tl;dr- accidentally yelled "I would do that!" While i was inadvertently looking at a girl's [behind]. She wasn't pleased.
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8points
#39
This evening I was walking home from my night class in old art clothes & see this lady with 3 guys pushing her car. I ask "Hey do you need help?" and she said "No unless you have a screwdriver!" I remember I have tools in my pockets and pull out a sickle and angular blade from each pocket and ask "Will either of these work?" I see the look of alarm cross their faces & she says "No thats ok I think we've got it" and runs off. I realize I must look like a crazy homeless person splattered in paint and a big dark hat & backpack carrying large crazy looking blades. Context: I'm putting in flooring and need curved blades to cut it & I had just the tools from my sculpture class I use for cutting wax so I was taking them home.
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8points
#40
I recently started teaching English in Mongolia and today my class was finishing up watching the rest of "Big" starring Tom Hanks. 5 minutes into class and the seduction scene starts, where the girl slooowly takes off her shirt and Tom Hanks turns the lights back on so he can stare and BAM! There's my co-worker who is coming in to see what I'm doing today and to grab some dictionaries.
Well. I'm showing the class how to fondle [chest], sir.
He leaves and I'm like, thank god he's gone now we can all chill. OH NO He's back ..with another teacher....and the scene still isn't done.
Well. I'm showing the class how to fondle [chest], sir.
He leaves and I'm like, thank god he's gone now we can all chill. OH NO He's back ..with another teacher....and the scene still isn't done.
7points