#1
Gynecologist appointments are an essential part of women's health. But for many ladies, they're arguably among the most awkward and vulnerable situations you can experience. Whether it's your first check-up or you've been a regular for years, the experience can still be daunting.
According to experts, it helps to be honest about how you're feeling.
"Telling your OBGYN that you’re feeling awkward might seem even more awkward. However, getting it out in the open can go a long way toward becoming more comfortable," says the team of doctors at U.S.-based Associates in Women's Healthcare. "Your provider may have methods for making things easier, whether you’re feeling physically uncomfortable or emotionally awkward."
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It's important not to wait until something goes wrong before you book your very first appointment at the gynae. It's generally recommended that girls start visiting a gynecologist between the ages of 13 and 17.
During a typical first appointment, you can expect a consultation and a general physical exam. The gynae will check your blood pressure, your heart rate, your weight and might take some blood to test for things like prediabetes. You may also be tested for STDs, if necessary.
"Sometimes, on the first visit, we just want to talk to you about your health and what to expect at future appointments," reveals the Associates in Women's Healthcare site. "Often, this does not involve a pelvic exam."
#4
Routine screening starts at 25 in the UK and, unless abnormalities are seen, are done every three years. I had had abnormalities on my first smear so I racked up more cervical inspections than most (it's all fine now) and therefore was completely comfortable in knowing what to expect from the experience by the time I turned 31.
So when the nurse practitioner was taking absolutely ages about it I started getting slightly uncomfortable and curious. She was re-angling lights as she stared into my [genitals], trying a variety of different speculums. Eventually she called in a colleague and they whispered and prodded down by my spotlit genitals as I got more and more concerned until the original nurse stood up and quietly addressed me.
I was informed that my [bum] was too small to be creating the normal angle for investigating the cervix, and please would I ball my fists under my b*m cheeks to create a clearer visual passage for them.
I meekly complied. But, I mean, I always knew I had the world's flattest [bum], but now I had it medically confirmed just how insubstantial it was.
Another story concerns the gynaecologist that saw me when I was dealing with the aforementioned abnormalities. He was an eminent and respected man of his field and had been around long enough that my mother had been his patient before having children and for a while after. He had been around during her pregnancy with me, my birth a trimester early, and all the drama that accompanied it.
I have a bit of a problem with not thinking before I speak, so when I was leaving and he told me how much I looked like my mum, I couldn't stop myself from asking "which end?"
To his credit, he just laughed and saw me out the door.
#5
He realized that I was a waitress at the breakfast spot he went to with his family every week. Never came in after that.
#6
I saw an OBGYN in my hometown for these symptoms and it was the first time with this woman because my regular doctor was on vacation.
Before examining me or even asking much about me besides why I was there she said:
"Once you settle down with a husband and stop sleeping around you'll stop having these problems"
I had had one partner at that point and it had been years ago since we had been together and I had been tested for everything a few times already (due to my ongoing symptoms). I never got a chance to tell her, nor did she care. She did her exam, scribbled a script for some antibiotics and could not [cared less] about me as a person.
I drove straight to my mom's office and lay on her floor and sobbed for a really long time. I had never been so insulted/hurt/embarrassed by a doctor before. Thankfully it was a small office and everyone was really kind to me there. I don't know how I could have sat alone with those raw feelings right then.
When it comes to the part that many women worry about, the experts say while it's normal for patients to feel a bit awkward, it's important to remember your gynae probably sees hundreds of women a year. "There’s no reason to be worried. We understand," they say.
Never be afraid to ask questions, no matter how embarrassing you might think they are.
"If you have a question — even one that seems like the most embarrassing thing you could possibly ask (it isn’t) — chances are that your OBGYN has heard it before," says the team at Illinois-based Duly Health and Care. "In fact, what you find embarrassing might be simply part of your provider’s everyday conversations."
#7
Now, I'm not particularly bashful, but consent is key. No one had asked me if an entire class could come in a gape at my hoo-haw. No one had even mentioned the possibility.
I was pissed. I would have given permission--the students have to learn some time. Instead, I stewed in anger and never went back to that doctor. Now that I'm older, I'd speak up for myself. Then, I didn't know I could.
#8
All the b***d had drained from my face and I was so insanely freaked out by the first part of his sentence it took a few seconds for the second part to register. I really don’t remember anything else from that visit because I was just so mortified.
It was the first time I had ever met this doctor and the last.
#9
So I had to go to a gyno(so I’d make it on time I went to the closest one to my workplace, not the one I’d normally go to) who was this crusty old dude who wanted me to explain in detail what had happened and exactly why I needed the morning after pill, and then was asking me if my partner had been a Japanese man or not(I’m a white woman).
I had to pay through the nose for this whole experience too (it cost almost $200).
If the gynae is going to do an examination down there, it'll typically begin with an external exam. They may also perform a bimanual exam. That's an exam where the doctor uses two lubricated fingers internally, while also checking your abdomen on the outside.
"This enables us to feel your uterus and ovaries," explains the Associates in Women's Healthcare team. "It’s a way we can check for growths or cysts." They add that while this may be uncomfortable, it shouldn’t hurt.
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The lady lubes up her hands, LOOKS ME IN THE EYES, and then missed. She got the thigh joint area.
I just looked away. I think we were both really embarrassed.
#12
My favorite was my primary care doc doing my pap and going to the door and yelling that she needed a smaller speculum. She apologized and I just laughed and said it was ok.
Most awkward was having an exam with a resident that we'd established that we'd be working together. The gyn was walking him through the process and turned around and his fingers were awkwardly in me for a little too long. I found out later that he was married to a man so the weird look on his face wasn't me.
The experts say that typically, they don’t perform Pap smears unless the patient is21 or older. "But if you’ve had some problems—such as heavy periods, pain or itching– we will need to check things out to determine the cause," they add.
During a Pap smear, a speculum (metal instrument) is used to "open things up" so we that the gynae can "get a good look at your cervix." In case you're wondering, a cervix is the lower, narrow part of the uterus or womb.
The gynae will then se a small brush and tiny spatula to collect cells from your cervix. These will be examined under a microscope to check for abnormalities like cancer.
Again, the experts say while it’s not the most comfortable test, it shouldn’t hurt.
#13
Cue insanity, she tells me to quickly get dressed, security is ushering us all outside (this is a huge building with tons of different practices/offices). It's snowing outside and freezing in October, but the building is full of smoke and we had to crawl on our hands and knees down the hallway so obviously something is on fire.
About 5 min go by and they tell us the fire is contained so they take us down to the other side of the building so we can be in the warmth.
Somebody burned their popcorn.
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The Duly team says one of the ways to take the "awkward" out of your gynae visit is to prepare. Perhaps go to a gynecologist that's been recommended by a friend or family member. Ahead of your appointment, write up a list of questions you'd like to ask your doctor.
"Have your partner or a friend tag along. They don’t need to come into the exam room with you if you don’t want them to or if your OBGYN’s practice doesn’t allow it. But even knowing that you have a friendly face to greet you in the waiting room after the appointment can make the experience feel more normal," they add.
It might also be useful to plan something casual or fun for after the appointment. This can help normalize the experience and give you something to look forward to.
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I've heard other women talk about this kind of thing happening which leads me to wonder why they don't just ask about that in the first place.
Other than that I've never had anything weird happen while their hand was in my taint or whatever.
Sometimes, despite all the preparation in the world, you might still have a negative experience at your gynae appointment. If that's as a result of you saying or doing something you deem as embarrassing, remember that it's not your doctor's first rodeo... They'll probably seen and encountered a lot more than you might realize.
If it's a case of your gynae saying or doing something that makes you uncomfortable, it might be time to find a new one.
"Your provider might just not be the best fit. And that’s okay," says the Duly Health and Care team. "You deserve an OBGYN who you genuinely trust and who makes you feel comfortable."
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