Awkwardness, embarrassment, and cringe are all indicators that you are behaving in ways that are probably not socially acceptable.
Human beings are social animals and hardwired for community. We all fundamentally crave acceptance, love, respect, and admiration. Strong relationships and being part of a wide social network helped your ancestors survive, and today they help you thrive. Nobody wants to be a social outcast because this limits the opportunities in their life.
Being socially isolated is also incredibly stressful and can affect your mental and even physical health.
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So, on the one hand, you want to be a respected member of your community and connect with other like-minded individuals. On the other hand, you want to keep a hold of your identity and not have to set your wants and needs aside just to avoid standing out and keep the peace in your social network. It’s a tough balance to get right.
Something that everyone ought to keep in mind is that nobody is ever perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and commits social faux pas. And you need emotional intelligence and empathy to recognize this.
Ideally, when you say or do something incredibly embarrassing and cringeworthy, you accept what happened, take responsibility for your behavior, learn the right lessons, and move on with your life. Social mistakes are an opportunity to learn and grow.
However, that’s easier said than done. But if you shy away from your mistakes or try to pretend you did nothing wrong, you are essentially allowing embarrassment to take control of your life. And that can haunt you for months and even years to come.
Instead, a healthy relationship with embarrassment is to look directly at it and embrace it, no matter how uncomfortable at first.
Rather poetically, it is when you are vulnerable that you become stronger.
Showing mild embarrassment about your behavior is great for you socially, too. It makes you feel more human, grounded, and trustworthy. From a purely strategic social perspective, it is always better to admit that you’ve slipped up or admit to a mess-up… so long as you are not overly self-deprecating.
Try to behave in a way that you’d prefer your family, friends, coworkers, and strangers would if they did something awkward.
For example, when you blush, you are actually increasing the chances that others will forgive you for doing something socially awkward. Research shows that publicly showing embarrassment or shame shows that you have “committed a social or moral infraction” and that you regret it.
Blushing is your way to show genuine regret or remorse for doing something wrong. Through this reaction, you are atoning for the damage you caused and mitigating the negative effects of making the social faux pas.
The reality is that there isn’t a person alive today who is immune to embarrassment, sadness, or awkwardness.
When we take ownership of our flaws, we also become more accepting of other people’s less-than-perfect behavior. We become less judgmental and controlling, and instead become more tolerant, empathetic, and understanding.
In short, we focus on what we and others are like as human beings, instead of desperately rushing to fit in in any way that we can.
