There’s always a strange line in workplaces. You become hyper-aware that the people you spend most of your time with aren’t really your friends, but it can also feel odd to simply call them colleagues when you see each other so often.
At the same time, we always have to be mindful of social cues — what’s appropriate and what isn’t, what’s acceptable to say and what crosses the line. It’s not always easy, but with a bit of common sense, it shouldn’t be that difficult, unless you have the kind of audacity only a man could have. And that’s exactly what happened in today’s story, when a male
colleague crossed a major line without even realizing it.
We don't get to pick our colleagues, and unfortunately, that means that at times we have to deal with people we don't get along with
A woman got along fine with one of her male colleagues, but she started to notice he often made jokes about her appearance
He would start by complimenting another female colleague's looks, and then directly compare the woman to the other person
She started feeling humiliated, and no longer wanted to ignore the constant, inconvenient, and inappropriate comments
Image credits:
HopeForBetter29At the same time, the man would often claim he was joking whenever she showed discomfort, making the woman feel like she was overreacting
We never really expect to come across stories about people who have absolutely no sense of social cues, but the Original Poster (OP) in today’s tale managed to shock us all. As she explains, she’s a 31-year-old woman working in an office who has been having issues with one of her male colleagues, who keeps trying to
embarrass her publicly — and, frankly, has been succeeding.
According to her, whenever another female
coworker is around, this male colleague tends to steer the conversation toward the OP’s appearance, comparing her to the other woman present. His intention always seems to be to point out how approachable the other colleague is because of her looks, while implying that the OP’s appearance is the root of her problems.
Naturally, the narrator feels humiliated by these comments, but she also notes that the situation is confusing because the man is, in fact, friendly toward her every day. Apparently, he often helps her with
work, shares snacks, and has normal conversations with her that don’t suggest any personal resentment that would explain those inappropriate remarks.
She’s also worried that her own reactions might be part of the problem. Whenever she expresses discomfort, the man immediately asks whether she can’t take a
joke. In the end, the OP worries that she might be overreacting, but ignoring the situation doesn’t feel right either. So, she turned to the internet to ask whether she’s being too sensitive and, if not, what the best way to handle the issue might be.
Unfortunately, these types of situations are hardly far from the reality of many women.
Studies have revealed that in 2025, nearly 40% of women report experiencing harassment in the workplace. This, however, isn’t always physical — on the contrary. Microaggressions and unwarranted comments are often at the root of mental health hurdles and even career disruption.
Moreover, it’s not just the harassment that’s being seen here. Clearly, the man doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with his words, which
psychologists would likely explain as classic gaslighting techniques. Therapists say that using phrases like “it’s just a joke” is meant to deflect criticism and avoid accountability. It causes the other person to undermine and minimize her own feelings, which is the end goal.
So, realistically speaking, what can the OP do in this situation?
Experts recommend that, when faced with harassment, the first step is to go to HR immediately. Gathering evidence and putting everything in writing is also recommended to create a more comprehensive report to properly assess the situation. She could also speak to the colleague directly; however, he clearly doesn’t see this situation as an issue.
Netizens were absolutely baffled by the man’s entitlement. Not only do they recommend that she head on over to HR, but they also recommend that she bring one of the other women as a witness. Ultimately, the woman should address this situation as quickly as possible to avoid future bullying. So, what would you have done? Would you have looked the other way to avoid conflict or called him out immediately?
Netizens advised her to immediately put everything in writing and report the situation to HR
