"Dear Virgin": 51 Times People Attempted To Apologize But Came Up With Comedy Gold

Saying "sorry" can be hard. You have to humble yourself before the other person and admit you did something wrong. However, apologizing is also undeniably effective. Hearing someone say "sorry" and seeing them admit their mistakes can be cathartic and make it that much easier to forgive people.

Although for some people, looking the person in the face as they hear "sorry" might be a prerequisite for a good apology, sometimes written apologies are more effective than verbal ones. A 2022 study found that people prefer to get a written apology for "integrity-based trust violations," like infidelity, covering up something, or sharing a secret.

However, in some cases, people prefer to hear "sorry" face to face. The researchers found that verbal apologies are more effective against "competency-based trust violations." For example, when missing a deadline at work, bosses would much rather hear their employee say "sorry" in person.

A good example of competency-based trust violations in relationships can be forgetting anniversaries, forgetting to book accommodation for a group trip when you were the designated one to do it, or even escalating arguments because you can't handle criticism. "When trust violation involves competence, trust is better repaired by responding with a verbal apology rather than a written one," the researchers concluded.

In the end, whether the apology is written or verbal, what matters most is the act itself. A 2020 study explored how apologies affect people psychophysiologically. It found that apologies can increase empathy, forgiveness, gratitude, and other positive emotions. The study also observed that apologies can have a calming effect on us: they calm people's heart rates, reduce cardiac stress, and relax muscle activity under people's eyes.

Today, we're told that our attention spans are fried and we can't concentrate for longer than 30 seconds. But when it comes to apologies, this couldn't be further from the truth. It turns out that people prefer longer apologies than short ones. So, a simple "sorry" might seem insincere, whereas a long and wordy letter is perceived as genuine.

A 2025 study, published in the British Journal of Psychology, explored how people deem longer apologies more apologetic. In essence, people think that others are more genuine when they spend more time thinking about, crafting, and delivering their apologies. "An apology may appear more genuine if it costs someone more to say it – and that can mean the time taken to say or type long words," the author of the study, Dr. Shiri Lev-Ari, told The Guardian.

If you've ever been cautious of apologizing too much or too often, don't sweat it – those who say "sorry" often are seen as warmer, more approachable people. According to a 2023 study, people see frequent apologizers as more communal and pleasant. However, if the apologies are very frequent and of low quality, people tend to see such individuals as less confident, indecisive, and lacking authority.