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The anti-bucket list is the complete opposite of the bucket list, a list of all the things that a person hopes to do in life.
They say that the best teacher is cold, hard experience. And there’s no denying that trying out a whole bunch of different activities can quickly help you filter out what you actually enjoy doing and what sounds great on paper but is horrible in real life.
However, things aren’t so easy when you deal with underlying assumptions like trusting everyone, not just leisure activities. If the fundamental ideas that make up your life get shaken, you can be in for a rude awakening. And with a lot to think about while you’re sitting there, angry, ashamed, embarrassed.
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Never. Again.
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After maybe three of four days after the attempt I experienced what I think is called epiphany. Started everything all over. Loved myself, finished therapy etc. No matter what bulls**t life throws at me I will never do it again.
Something that we all have to remind ourselves of from time to time is that it’s all right to make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. And, heck, you could argue that perfection is overrated. What really matters is learning to embrace the mistakes that we make and learning the lessons that are there to be learned, without regret.
Vanessa Bohns, an Associate Professor of Organizational Behavior at Cornell University, explained to us earlier about embracing mistakes, dealing with our embarrassment, and why hiding our mistakes isn’t healthy for us.
"We spend a lot of time and effort presenting an ideal version of ourselves to other people. When something happens that contrasts with the image we’ve been projecting—when we say or do something that shows we actually aren’t as graceful or as smart as we’d like people to believe—we feel embarrassed," Vanessa told Bored Panda during an earlier interview that many of us want to seem perfect.
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I truly believed most of my colleagues were friends in a place I used too work, to the point I’d go above and beyond to help them. Even if it was rarely if ever reciprocated. Yet whenever I needed help they were nowhere to be found or were ‘busy’. If I got in trouble they were quick to throw me under the bus without hesitation and would lie to my face about doing so.
"Discovering you were wrong about something most everyone else around you has long known to be true is one of those moments. In that moment we learn, 'Wait a minute, maybe I haven’t been presenting the image of being smart or worldly that I thought I was presenting all this time,' which is embarrassing,” she explained how embarrassment works.
“One thing that’s interesting about embarrassment is that, for as much as we might experience it as painful in the moment, it’s actually very socially adaptive. Being embarrassed signals to other people that you care about what they think. And that actually draws people in to you,” the expert pointed out that when we admit to our mistakes openly, we become better liked.
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“So blushing, burying your head in your hands, laughing, acknowledging how embarrassing something was, are all totally healthy ways to react.”
On the flip side, when we try to hide our mistakes and embarrassment, we’re shooting ourselves in the foot, socially speaking. In other words, it’s not only cathartic, it’s also socially useful for us to admit to the times we utterly embarrassed ourselves or messed up beyond all belief.
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“The unhealthy way to react is to pretend you’re not embarrassed, that you didn’t make a mistake, or to get angry. Those things undo the positive effect of embarrassment typically has on other people by conveying insincerity and pushing people away rather than drawing them in,” Vanessa said.
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Paid waaaaay too much money to stand in waaaay too many lines, fighting crowds of waaaay too many people.
Disney parks are not a fun way to spend a day.