#1
2 nurses come in to move me to a gurney' but they were small and I'm big they can't move me over, my wife came over and poked me in the ribs saying your snoring rollover, and I rolled right onto the gurney.
#2
#3
When a patient is given anaesthesia, it means that they have been administered medicines to keep them from feeling pain during medical procedures. This process started a long time ago in 1846 when a dentist named William Morton used a chemical called ether to protect his patient from being uncomfortable during dental surgery.
These anesthetics can be localised and used to numb specific areas that will be undergoing surgery, or they can be general medicines that make you temporarily unconscious. There are also sedatives that can put you into a light state of sleep if you need to be woken up at any point. Regardless of their type, all these anesthetics can affect a patient and make them feel groggy or drowsy.
#4
Apparently, before passing out, I looked up at the white haired German Dentist and said in my best Connery, "Goldfinger, do you expect me to talk?".
The dentist didn't reply, but he did tell me after surgery that it was one of the funniest things anyone asked him in a "haze".
#5
#6
The nurse was helping my mom shuffle me to the car. I turned to thank her, but couldn't get my mouth to work, so I bowed and doffed an imaginary cap.
*M'anesthesia*.
As you’ve probably noticed from this list, people have had varied experiences after waking up from anesthesia, with some being in a great mood and making jokes, while others are in a state of shock. The lighthearted moments might come from the relaxed feeling that some patients have, which makes them feel like they can say anything.
On the other hand, some medical experts have pointed out that some people also burst into tears after waking up from sedation. This might happen due to a feeling of overwhelm after the surgery, or possibly because of disorientation. This experience is more common in children, with around 30-40% of them crying post-anesthesia.
#7
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#9
Even though a lot of people fear that they’ll blurt out their secrets when waking up from anesthesia, many worry about being sedated in the first place. Studies have found that 9 in 10 patients are scared of general anesthesia because of the possible risk of complications that could occur as a result of it.
This is obviously the biggest concern of folks, but healthcare professionals state that there is nothing to worry about. They say that the use of anesthesia must match the procedure and that patients should follow their doctor’s order and not insist on a specific type, which can then be the cause of problems.
#10
One of them asked what I had gotten done. (I was in a huge cast and on crutches.)
I tell her the procedure. She gets a funny look on her face and asked when it was done.
I tell her the date.
She immediately starts laughing and tells her friends, "This is the guy!"
Now they're all howling with laughter.
It took a while to tell the story because they're in tears from laughing.
Apparently, when I was coming out of sedation, I grabbed a Corpsman's a*s and hung on for dear life. (The woman I was I was currently talking to at the restaurant.)
I just wanted to crawl into a hole when I heard the story.
TL;DR- Grabbed a girl's a*s in the OR, got named 'a**man' by the staff, and became the talk of the hospital for a while.
Edit- My top comment is how I perved on some poor woman when I was out of my gourd on d***s.
Wonderful.
#11
#12
There is usually a quick time of recovery after anesthesia, but for the first couple of hours, people might feel confused, hazy, or tired. For older adults, these feelings might last a little longer, which is why medical professionals often tend to keep them under observation for a while.
Doctors state that the best way to deal with these post-anesthesia feelings is to eat food properly, drink plenty of water, and get enough movement. In case the feelings of fatigue or confusion linger, it’s important that they go to their primary physician immediately and get it checked out.
#13
1) Going into surgery, I was being given anesthesia. During this I apparently looked at the tech and asked him to remove the mask from my face so I could scratch my nose. He said "No" and I passed out halfway through my response of "awwww".
2) Still very out of it, getting ready to be discharged after a day if recovery (it was very bad and I was on a lot of meds). I stood up to change and could feel the incision just below my navel open. I looked down and my hand was red and there was a growing red spot on the gown. I look up and see the color drain from my mother's face. To which I respond "it's cool, I got this...", get back in the bed, hit the call button and say "I don't mean to bother you, but one of my incisions appears to have reopened. I'm not in pain, but there is a fair bit of blood. If you could have someone stop by when they are free that would be awesome." Not 15 seconds later a nurse comes flying into the room, looks, says "Holy c**p! Be right back with supplies" and flys out of the room before returning and fixing the problem. When asked why I wasn't panicking, I simply responded "I figured I'm already in the right place for this sort of thing...".
#14
The assistant nurse started laughing. Lead nurse not so amused.
#15
It was awkward.
Anesthesia is definitely not something to be taken lightly, but you’ve got to admit that it’s left patients and doctors with some incredible stories. The beauty of it is that it can make people think, speak, and act in a completely different way than they normally would, which is a true treat for anyone observing them.
Do you have any funny post-anesthesia stories, because we’d love to hear them. The comments are open for you to share as much or as little as you’d like.
#16
The lady is just starting to wake up from sedation, so, with the EMTs standing in the room, we take out her foley catheter. Then, she q***fs. The nurse and I smirk at each other, but this is fairly common and not the funny part. The funny part is that the noise seemed to surprise her, and apparently remind her what was going on, because she gasps and then looks over to the EMTs and says in an attempt at a s**y voice: "You boys eva seen a black coochie befoe?"
Everyone in the room had to take a second to attempt to regain composure, but the EMTs ended up having to leave the room and the nurse is crouching on the ground trying not to die. I, since I still have the foley in my hands, don't have this freedom, and am forced to try to keep my sides from launching in to orbit.
It's since become a running joke around the ER.
#17
Still feel bad about it. Poor nurse.
#18
About halfway home, she called my mother to let her know that the surgery went well and I remained stonily quiet. After she got off the phone, I demanded that my wife call my mother back. When she did so I told her:
"Mom. You have lots of dogs. And they need lots of love." Then I made the 'cut the call' motion to my wife.
When we arrived home, I was brought up short by my wife's pillow case, which has a sloth on it. I asked out loud "Honey, there's a f****n' Sloth in here. How did we catch one? They're so fast!"
Then she tried to take my jeans off of me so I could go to sleep and I yelled "Whoa there missy!" when she grabbed for the fly.
All in all, a pretty great morning.
