People Are Adding "And Then The Murders Began" To Famous Book Openings, And It's Impossible Not To Laugh

This morning I was awakened by Pump coming over to the bed and sniffing emphatically at me, millimeters away, her whiskers grazing my lips, to see if I was awake or alive or me. And then the murders began.

(Inside of a dog, Alexandra Horowitz)

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. And the the murders began.

You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings. And then the murders began.

In the beginning, Bartholomew Cubbins didn't have five hundred hats. And then the murders began.

(The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins, Dr. Seuss)

A purely peer-to-peer version of electronic cash would allow online payments to be sent directly from one party to another without going through a financial institution. And then the murders began.

Hillary Rodham Clinton lost the 2016 United States presidential election. And then the murders began.

"There once was a boy named Milo who didn’t know what to do with himself – not just sometimes, but always...and then the murders began." (The Phantom Tollbooth)

"Once upon a time, at the edge of a great forest, there lived a poor woodcutter, with his wife, and his two children, Hansel and Gretel. And then, the murders began..."

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice. And then the murders began. (One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez)

In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. And then the murders began. (The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald)

Justice? You get justice in the next world, in this world you have the law. And then the murders began. (A Frolic of His Own, William Gaddis)

'Ho Chi Minh City in the summer. Sweltering by anyone’s standards'. And the murders began.
( Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer )

This is a story about a princess, and, unfortunately, it is also about a queen. And then the murders began.(Snow Whyte and The Queen of Mayhem, Melissa Lemon)

There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it. And then the murders began. (The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, 1952 - C.S. Lewis)

Rorschach's journal, October 12th 1985. Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. And then the murders began.
(Watchmen by Moore & Gibbons)

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles. And then the murders began. (Karl Marx, The Communist Manifesto. )

Tyler gets me a job as a waiter, after that Tyler's pushing a gun in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life is you have to die. And then the murders began.

Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk.

'I am afraid, Watson, that I shall have to go', said Holmes, as we sat down together to our breakfast one morning. And then the murders began. (The memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, Arthur Conan Doyle)

I was the shadow of the waxwing slain/By the false azure in the windowpane;/I was the smudge of ashen fluff--and I/Lived on, flew on, in the reflected sky... And then the murders began. (Vladimir Nabokov, Pale Fire)

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money... but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that will be the end of it - I will not look for you, I will not pursue you... but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you... and then the murders began (Taken)