When you meet your soulmate, most often you not only create your own family, but become a part of an already existing one and accept a new person to the family you had before meeting them. Strangely, you can share so much with your significant other but be disliked by the new family.
Many disagreements happen between blood-related family members so they are inevitable in the new families as well, especially because everyone has a different way of communicating and are used to sharing different things with other family members.
A Reddit user got into such a disagreement with his fiancée’s family and is lost as to whether he was in the wrong as his fiancée didn’t support him, but he feels that he didn’t do anything wrong.
More info: Reddit
A man is asking if he was being a jerk when he didn't reveal how much he earned to his in-laws and eventually called them gold diggers
Image credits: George Redgrave (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) is a 28-year-old Canadian man and he is engaged with a 26-year-old woman from Latin America. At the time of writing the post the OP was settling in his new job and his in-laws wanted to know more, so they invited him to their house alone.
The man went for a visit and when the FIL invited him to the guest room, he had a strange request. He asked the Redditor to leave his phone and keys at the dining table. The OP obeyed and the MIL and FIL started asking him about his new job.
It all started when the OP's FIL and MIL invited him to their house to talk to him alone
Image credits: Nos**tsorry___
When he arrived, he was asked to leave his keys and phone in the other room, which was weird, but the OP didn't give too much notice to it
Image credits: Nos**tsorry___
The conversation led to the in-laws asking him how much he earns. The OP didn’t understand why they would need this information so he politely got out of the question. The in-laws were persistent and asked why he was hiding the exact number. This time the man didn’t try to hide his irritation and explained that this is none of their business.
The FIL didn’t see it that way. He thought that he has the right to know if his daughter is marrying a man who can provide for her and their future children.
His fiancée's parents started asking him about his job and his salary
Image credits: Nos**tsorry___
Parents are always worrying about their children even if they are fully grown and are completely able to care for themselves, so this reasoning is quite understandable, so the OP explained that he earns enough and his fiancée’s parents shouldn’t worry about that.
Besides, a relationship should be based on love and respect and there will always be ways to earn money, but a strong relationship is much harder to develop and maintain.
Unexpectedly, the MIL disagreed. She proceeded to give examples of why not having enough money would be a problem and whatever examples she gave, it is undeniable that not having enough money causes a lot of worry and issues, but it shouldn’t be a criteria when choosing a partner for life.
Image credits: Nos**tsorry___
The OP didn't want to reveal it and when the in-laws locked him in the room, he called them gold diggers
Image credits: Nos**tsorry___
The Redditor still thought that there was no reason to discuss his financial situation with his in-laws but the MIL was determined to find it out and thought that the secrecy was disrespectful as they are not random strangers.
That is when the man got so annoyed he wanted to leave to cool off, but the FIL locked the door and said that the OP would be allowed to leave when they were done with the conversation. The FIL asking the OP to calm down didn’t help this situation at all and he lost control, speaking his mind that his earnings are not his fiancée’s parents' business and by insisting that he tell them this information, they were making themselves look like gold diggers.
The parents got really offended and their daughter sided with them, asking the OP to apologize to them
Image credits: Nos**tsorry___
The FIL let the OP out and it was clear the parents got offended. They complained to the fiancée and to the man’s disbelief, she sided with her mom and dad, asking him to apologize to them.
He asked his future wife if she thought her parents' behavior was acceptable, but she avoided the question and tried to convince the OP that she really doesn’t care about his financial status and that her parents just wanted to make sure they have a good life so he should not be mad at them for showing they care.
Image credits: Nos**tsorry___
He doesn't think this is right but at the same time can't get rid of the feeling that he might have been a jerk
Image credits: Nos**tsorry___
The OP understands that his in-laws feel offended but at the same time, he doesn’t feel like they have a right to stick their nose into his wallet. He is worried that the relationship with his new family might suffer. He told the moderator of the subreddit “I think that I was the a**hole for disrespecting them and calling them gold diggers in their own house. I could've just told them how much I make and I think I was a jerk about it.”
However, other Reddit users don’t consider him to be a jerk. They are actually quite worried that he will be marrying into such a family and think that the fiancée siding with her parents indicates that there will be more similar issues in the future. Many people advised the OP to not continue with the marriage and others understanding that he won’t listen to the internet to make such a huge life decision suggested that he would at least consider having a prenup.
Image credits: Nos**tsorry___
Do you find the parents asking their son-in-law about his salary weird? Or do you think him being so stubborn and not wanting to reveal it was disrespectful? How would you feel if you were the parents and what would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Let us know in the comments and if you have any similar stories, we would be interested to hear them!
Other Redditors thought that the OP reacted like anyone would and actually called the fiancée's parents criminals for locking him in
