45 Times A Rude Passenger Picked The Wrong Person To Annoy On A Flight And Regretted It

So my step-dad and I are at the airport waiting for my step-brother's plane to arrive. This is back in the days when you could go into an airport for shopping etc. without a ticket. This was also back in the days when I dressed like a ratty punk rock kid with spiked bracelets, studded belt, and a badly done, 12 inch high pink mohawk (looks down, shakes head).

So my step-dad, a fast food junkie, says we should grab a burger. We get in line and eventually make it to the register. The lady behind the counter is giving me the "what is that thing" face. I ignore her as usual, I'm pretty used to it by now, but this woman is seriously staring at me like I'm from the moon. She finally takes her eyes off me long enough to put our order together and as she's sliding it across the counter she looks at my step-dad and says;

"Ya'know, If ma' son looked like 'dat. I'd wouldn't even let him outta da'house" and started laughing like crazy.

Right as her laugh was calming down, and without missing a beat, I say "Yea, well if my mom worked at McDonald's, I'd be too embarrassed to leave the house."

Her mouth just about dropped to the counter as her co-workers started hollering and screaming with laughter. As an awkward teenage 14 year old kid, it was the proudest moment of my life.

So today I was on a flight from Oakland, CA to Ontario, CA. Mind you, this is not a long flight. It's usually about 45 minutes, so when most people are doing something annoying/ unacceptable on the flight, I can ignore it pretty well due to the short exposure.

Today however, I got a chance to pettily punish someone that I could not pass up.

This grown man was sitting in the seat behind me, and even before we took off, he started bumping up against the back of my seat. I thought "he's a tall guy, and must be uncomfortable, so I'll give him like ten minutes to settle down."

He did not settle down.

He constantly kicked the back of my seat for the entire flight. I know I should have turned around and told him to knock it off (gently, of course), but part of me was hoping that he would be a decent enough human to realize how horrible he was being. I'm not a confrontational person, and I'll avoid social interaction with strangers if I can help it. So, I settled in and gritted my teeth.

Much to my disgust, he not only does not stop the kicking, he decides it's ok to cram his smelly, unkempt man foot right up next to me, between my arm rest and the wall (I was in the window seat).

At this point, I think he must realize what he's doing- he's so very clearly violating my personal space. I wait patiently to move his foot, but of course, he just leaves it there.

So the pilot announces we were making our final descent into Ontario, and I had just about had it with the smell of this dude's foot and his constant kicking.

In fact, the smell was so bad, it was kind of tickling my nose.

It tickled my nose enough to kind of make me have to sneeze.

Normally, I would have not done what happened next because it is uncalled for and wrong, but I had been listening to Eugene Mirman and his sardonic comedy kind of pushed me over the edge to 'not caring' level.

I sneezed on this dude's nasty foot. I pretended I was covering my nose and mouth with my arm and turning my head away from the passenger to my left. Even though I apparently sneezed into the crook of my arm, In reality I missed it completely and most of my nose juice landed in his flip-flop clad foot.

Needless to say he immediately retracted his foot.

He couldn't say anything to me, either. He didn't bother to confront me, but if he had, I would have apologetically said I didn't realize his foot was there. Between my window and my seat. So sorry.

TL,DR;; I sneezed on a man's foot because he invaded my personal bubble on an airplane and would not stop kicking the back of my seat.

I don’t travel very often, it’s even more uncommon for me to fly. Therefore, when I do fly I always like to get a window seat. So last week, when I was boarding my flight I was frustrated when I came to my seat and this lady was in my seat. She and her friend were sitting in the window and middle seat while the isle seat was open. Thinking she was just confused, I asked her “Hey ma’am, I’m sorry but I think you’re in my seat”. “This is my seat kid, you’re reading it wrong” (I’m in my early twenties and definitely have a baby face) I’m kind of mad now and I go to show her my boarding pass “Actually I have my ticket right here and it says_” She interrupts me. “I do this way more than you do kid, sit down in you’re seat there”. I am livid but I don’t want to hold the whole plane up so I quietly sit down and simmer. While I’m sitting there, I overhear she and her friend mention how tight their connecting flight is in DFW and how they’re worried they won’t get off the plane quick enough. Check mate you seat jacking bitch. So I sit back and enjoy the flight. Anytime I want to look out the window, I careen over their laps in a way that is super uncomfortable for everyone because I will be getting the view I paid for thank you very much. Then, when we land, I get my petty revenge. I take my sweeeet time getting my bag out from under my seat. Stand up slow and stretch. And insist that the two rows behind us go before I do, seeing as the two worst players of aviation musical chairs in the nation can’t get out til I do. I walk slow down the isle, and shake both flight attendants’ hands on my way out. The girls RAN out of there as soon as we rounded the corner. I felt great

I was flying home from a work trip on AA.

Now on this flight a man sitting sat next to me. He wasn't super tall, about average in height. He needed to go to the bathroom so I got up let him out and got up again to let him in. As I sat back down my leg hit his. I look down to see his leg about halfway into my aisle leaving me with about 1/3 of the space I had. I'm thinking he's going to move, and he's got plenty of space because he doesn't have a bag under his seat, but he keeps it there. I'm sitting side saddle in my seat at this point.

I look at him then at his leg then back at him. He blatantly stares at me then pulls out his phone and just starts playing on it.

So what I do is lift my foot and place it over his foot setting the dirty sole of my converses on what looks like new white Nikes (fabric ones too not leather). He immediately whips his head up at me and I following his example pulled out my tablet and started reading.

He pulls his foot away and had a nasty attitude the whole plane ride. Buuuut I got my space back.

So my ex-boyfriend and I once went on vacation and he had never been in a plane before. Our seats were separate because of late planning and it was cheaper. I had a window seat somewhere and he had an isle seat. So I offered him mine. He happily accepted and that's that.

So on the plane back home he actually had a window seat and I had a middle seat. I asked him if we could trade now so I could sit by the window. He told me no, it was his spot and he wanted to sit there. I was kinda bummed but okay. What do you know, five minutes later the stewardess comes to ask me if I could change seats with someone upfront. Because of her crutches she wasn't allowed to sit near an emergency exit. So I got the seat in the front, with no one beside me, next to a window and a ton of extra leg space. My ex came whining to me that he wanted to switch seats now.

The relationship didn't last very long after that.

I was on a American Airlines flight to Phoenix, Arizona. All is going well, so far. The person in front of me is courteous enough to not recline, and I'm playing blackjack on the seatback screen. Then, I feel a tiny sweaty hand slap my neck, followed by a boy's squeal. I ignore this at first, but it happens again, and again, and again. Each time the boy would do this, he would scream at the top of his lungs, "GOT YOUR NECK!" I was getting justifiably annoyed by this neck slapper. I was tempted to simply tell the brat's parents, but a quick look back showed that they were both engrossed in their phones and paying no attention to their child. I did not want to start a confrontation, as I was very sleepy.

Then, an idea formed in my mind. I grabbed my little jar of petroleum jelly and slathered a lump of it on my neck. I usually carry petroleum jelly so my skin doesn't get dry (My skin is chronically dry and cracking). Anyway, there's this glob of petroleum jelly on my neck, and I hear the kid jostling against his seatbelt to slap my neck again. I secretly smile as his hand recoils and he utters an "EWWW!" I then hear his mom scold him for touching her with his now grimy hand.

TLDR: Kid slaps my neck on an airplane, gets a glob of petroleum jelly.

I (33F) just got off a 7 hour cross country flight and I wanted to share this story before I go pass out. I was flying Southwest so there are no assigned seats and I was in B boarding group. I went towards the back of the plane so I could get an aisle seat since I’m fairly tall. It was a completely full flight so I knew there would be someone sitting next to be. Enter Entitled Karen (EK). She had waited to check in so she was at the back of the C boarding group. She was pissy because at first she couldn’t find anywhere to put her massive roller bag and the flight attendants were trying to get her to gate check it. Then she came up to my row and I thought “great, she’s gonna take the middle seat”. The following dialogue (to the best of my sleepy recollection) occurred:

EK: Move!

OP: what?

EK: I paid for an aisle seat and you are sitting in my seat.

OP: (more confused) what??

EK: (practically screaming) I SAID I PAID FOR AN AISLE SEAT AND YOU ARE SITTING IN MY SEAT

OP: This is Southwest, there are no assigned seats

EK: Are you stupid, I said I need the aisle seat.

OP: I can get up to give you the middle seat if you want

I stupidly thought that was the end of it when a flight attendant came over and asked her to take a seat. I got up to let her into the row and she immediately sat down in the aisle seat. I tried to protest to the flight attendant but EK kept loudly saying she paid for an aisle seat (I know Southwest is switching to assigned seating soon but they haven’t implemented it yet).

Now our flight was already delayed 30 minutes and I could see all the other passengers looking at me as if trying to say “please just let her win, we want to get there as fast as we can”. I looked at the flight attendant and she gave me a pleading look as if to also say “please just give her this, we want to get out of here.” So, being the fairly passive person I am, I stepped over her (she wouldn’t get up to let me in) and sat in the middle seat.

Now, I may be passive, but I also am petty. I am also really gassy on airplanes. Normally I try to contain it and go to the restroom when it gets bad enough and just let it rip there. But I was pissed at EK and, frankly, pissed at everyone else on the plane for letting her get away with it.

So I decided that I was just going to let ‘er rip all 7 hours of the flight. I put on my headphones (over the ear) and started passing gas about 1 hour into the flight. And lucky for me (and unlucky for everyone else) they were particularly stinky. Every time I would toot she would sniff, smell it, then shoot dirty looks at me. I just ignored her and just kept listening to my music and reading my kindle.

At about hour 5 she had enough and hit the call button to ask to move. The flight attendant told her we were fully booked and there is nowhere to move her to. EK looked even more pissed but I guess she had seen enough of the internet to know if she threw a fit she would get arrested when we landed. When we did land (since we were near the back) I gave it one more silent but deadly toot to seal the deal and let her bathe in my stink for a couple more minutes.

Do I feel bad that I ruined her flight? No. Do I feel bad that I stank up my row? Now. And also, for the first time ever I didn’t have gas pains nor did I need to rush to the bathroom immediately after getting off my flight.

Next time, check in early like the rest of us plebeians and maybe you’ll get a less salty seat mate.

Tl;dr seat stealing snoot sniffs stinky stuff while stuck in the sky

Apologize for formatting on mobile still on the plane.

I (22m) am currently on a flight that’s about 5 hours. I’m stuck in the middle seat so, obviously, already aggravated.

The person to my left (important later) took his shoes off about 5 minutes into the flight. I asked him politely to put his shoes back on because it smelled like cheezits and sweat. He responded “I’m more comfortable like this”. So at this point I’m beyond livid. It’s just rude.

So about an hour later he asked to pee and I responded “I’m more comfortable like this”. I sat there until he put his shoes back on. It’s gross that he wanted to go to the bathroom without shoes on??? Whatever. Hope you enjoyed.

This is actually my dad’s story, and it happened in the 80’s.

Dad used to travel frequently for work. On one trip, he boarded his flight, placed his briefcase in the overhead compartment, and took his seat while the rest of the passengers boarded and got settled.

While he was sitting there, a guy (aka “EA”) came back to dad’s row, pulled dad’s briefcase out of the overhead bin, and asked dad if it was his. Dad said yes and accepted it when the guy handed it to him, thinking that EA was going to make some room for his own carry-on and then put dad’s briefcase back. Instead, the EA put his carry-on in the overhead (leaving no room for anything else) and then walked back to his seat near the front of the plane and sat down.

Rather than causing a scene, dad removed the guy’s carry-on from the overhead, put his own briefcase back, and hit the flight attendant call button. When the attendant came by to check on him, he asked to gate check “his” carry-on. (Gate checked items are put down in the cargo hold with the rest of the checked baggage and need to be retrieved at baggage claim) He put the gate check ticket in the seat pocket in front of him and enjoyed his flight.

Dad had already deplaned by the time EA came back to get his carry-on and realized it was missing. I’m sure he found it eventually.

I doubt TSA would look kindly on this kind of petty revenge these days, but it was a different time.

Edit: To people saying that he should have put his briefcase under the seat in front of him - this was 40 years ago. People were more likely to check bags back then, and it wasn’t typical for people to have a large carry-on and a personal item that allowed them to avoid checking bags. People weren’t expected to put their belongings on the floor. The etiquette was different.

This happened in March of my senior year of college, during spring break week. I was flying to a job interview on the dreadful pre-dawn 5:00 AM flight, wearing a suit and tie and crammed in the middle seat of the last row because the interview had come together at the last minute. The plane’s door was just about to close with all the seats around me empty when here they came: about 6-8 guys my age, all wearing bro tanks, board shorts, and flip flops (it was about 30 degrees outside), totally plastered and reeking of booze. They made it clear to everyone else on the plane that they were heading for a frat spring break party in Cancun.

From the get go they were loud, yelling, swearing, the whole deal. As soon as we reached altitude they start crushing the cheap beer from the beverage cart. People around us are starting to get pissed and I’m getting a little self-conscious because I hate that this is everyone’s impression of college-aged guys. The guy next to me is the worst, hitting the call button for no reason every 10 minutes, obnoxiously macking on the flight attendant, making some racist and misogynistic jokes to his bro across the aisle. Then he passes out and slouches over on my shoulder, literally drooling on me, with his bare foot up on my leg, overpowering me with the stench of stale beer. I’ve had enough. It’s time for the pettiest revenge imaginable.

Next time the flight attendant (God bless her for putting up with these types of people every day) comes past, I order a cranberry juice. When she’s reaching over to hand me the cup filled with juice, I oh so accidentally fumble it onto Brotastic’s white board shorts. He wakes up and is like, “What the hell?” Then as he stands up to go to the bathroom, all his friends look at the red stain on his crotch and almost in unison: “Oh my God bro, are you on your period???”

Best part of the story: The flight attendant felt bad about spilling my drink (although I assured her it was no fault of hers), and she moved me up to an empty seat in the first row of coach. I ended up making my connection by about 30 seconds—would have missed it from my original seat—and got the job.

I recently took a flight from Germany to Macedonia. Not even leaving the gate, I felt my seat shaking. Turning around, I saw a man grabbing the back of my seat. He saw me, removed his hand, and I thought that was that. But no, he repeated this act multiple times within the next 10 minutes. Each time I'd lean back trying to press against his hand, making him retract it.

After the plane took off, the shaking resumed. I looked back again, but this time, he was only grabbing the very top, out of my head's reach. I dramatically turn around, looking back from the aisle, he's just looking/talking to a woman three rows back, presumably his partner. They'd likely opted for the cheaper 'random seat selection', hence the distance. When our eyes met, he pulled his hand away.

By this point, he'd done this at least 20times and I was getting irritated, to say the least. The next time I felt the shaking, pretending to stretch, I wet my fingers with a generous lick, near spit on them, grabbed the back of my seat, and just doused his hand. Needless to say, he didn't touch my seat for the remainder of the flight.

Was I wrong? Didn't know how to get the point across not to keep shaking my seat after many failed attempts.

This is my boyfriend's story of petty revenge that I think belongs here.

My boyfriend and I live overseas and flew back home to visit our families earlier this month. Since I got more time off work than he did, we flew home separately.

My bf found cheap flights on a budget airline with notoriously small seats and little legroom. The flight time back home is almost 8 hours.

Bf's flight wasn't completely full, so at the back of the plane where he was sitting there was a smattering of free seats. Most people at the back either had an aisle or an empty seat beside them.

Unfortunately, my bf was in a section of 3 with no free seats. He had the aisle seat, with an elderly couple sitting in the middle and window seat. Directly across the aisle in the middle of the plane there were 3 free seats.

As soon as everyone had boarded the plane, a lady a few rows up called the flight attendant over and complained about how uncomfortable she was, and demanded to move into the 3 free seats. The flight attendant told her that no one was allowed to move seats until after the plane had taken off and the seatbelt sign had been switched off.

A few minutes after takeoff when the seatbelt sign was off, my bf figured he'd take one of the 3 free seats to give the elderly couple beside him more space to be comfy on the long flight. He had just unbuckled his seat belt and started making a move across the aisle when the disgruntled lady a few rows up flung herself into one of the free seats and spread her bags across the other 2, not even waiting to see if anyone else wanted one of the seats (so that she'd be on an aisle with a free seat in the middle and someone else on the other aisle). She pulled out nail clippers, clipped her fingernails, and then started painting them. After that was done she stretched out across the 3 seats and went to sleep.

The elderly couple saw this happen and commented on how rude it was that this lady didn't give anyone else the chance to take one of the seats, and the two of them and my bf discussed her rudeness quietly amongst themselves.

A couple of hours later the flight attendants came down the aisle with hot paninis for lunch. Since Ms. Just Got Mah Nailz Did was passed out with her feet sticking out into the aisle, the flight attendants put her panini on the seat back tray instead of waking her up.

My bf and the elderly couple shared a knowing look, and then my bf stealthily grabbed the lady's panini off the tray. The three of them took her panini out of the plastic wrap, and then divided it up amongst themselves.

TL:DR: Lady on a transatlantic flight hogs 3 seats to herself instead of allowing someone else to have one of them. Clips and paints her nails, then passes out, so my bf and the people he was sitting with steal her sandwich and divide it between themselves.

The sweet, toasty spoils of petty revenge.

So this happened a few years ago, while I lived in Asia. At the time I often flew on business trips with my wife, but because of our limited budget we always flew economy class. While economy class in Europe and the US might be infamous for the lack of leg room, they have taken it to the next level in Asia. I'm a relatively tall guy (193 cm) and squeezing into the seats I feel like Gulliver in Lilliputland.

Well this one time I had just squeezed into my seat next to my wife when this group of Malaysian men sat in front of me. As soon as the plane had left the ground, the guy in front of me put his seat back as far as possible which left me in a very uncomfortable position. I tapped him on his shoulder and politely asked if it would be possible to put his seat back up, as I couldn't fit in my seat. He just replied: "No!" and turned back to his friends.

I contacted one of the flight attendants and told her about the situation. She told me that she wasn't allowed to tell the guy to put his seat back up, but she could offer me another seat which I gladly accepted. When I stood up I noticed that the seat in front of my Malaysian friend was available. For the next two hours I sat in front of him and put my seat back... Then up... Back... Up.... All the while hearing his heavy breathing and gasps of pain as my seat hit his knees. And there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. When we landed I turned around and smiled to him, and was met with a bright red face of pure anger.

I was on an airplane and right when we landed a Karen in the back unbuckled and darted to the front of the plane to get off first. She did not make any eye contact and felt that she was special. Im talking about going from the very last seat on the plane, down the whole row and past first class. basically standing at the little kitchen thing in the front. All this time the seat belt sign was still on and we were still rolling down the runway. The flight crew had asked her to return to her seat until we reached the gate but she was not even responding.

Everyone was basically trying to just wait it out, it was a long flight (8hrs) and at this point we were exhausted anyways. nobody said a word. Suddenly the captain announced we had a special guest on board and he will be coming out to greet after we were settled at the gate. The Karen stood there akwardly until we did the whole, rolling into the gate and whatever planes do when they land for about 15-20 mins.

Everyone sat there waiting to see what the captain was talking about.

Eventually the captain came out and asked the lady to please move back a little to get to his special guest, then a little more. Then a little more. He was looking from row to row trying to find a specific person. Everyone is watching and looking around to see who it could be.

he kept going and going asking the Karen to please step back a few more steps each time. Finally as they approached the rear of the plane he asked her to sit for a second while he grabbed the intercom at the rear of the plane.


"ladies and gentleman Id like to announce our special guest sitting in seat 42c. Lets giver her a round of applause"


the whole plane with wild with laughter and applause.

I loved every moment of that.

For background: My degree was in Mandarin and I'd learned it for 5 years by the time of this revenge. Unless you look Asian, most Chinese people never expect that you could speak Mandarin, as was the case on this particular day.

This happened a few years ago as I was on the plane waiting for it to take off.

It was a big plane with the 3 - 4 - 3 seat structure, and I was sat in the right-middle seat of the central section. I'd been sat there for about 20 minutes and nobody had sat down by me yet, so I was getting excited that I would be able to have the row to myself. Sadly it was not to be. A team of Chinese university basketball players get on the plane wearing identical tracksuits and one of them sits by me. Oh well, my 4 seat dream is gone but never mind.

"Don't you guys think lao wai* (Mandarin for gringo/farang/foreigner. See full definition below) smell like lamb kebabs?" says the guy as his teammates snicker. Let's call him OT, for obnoxious twat. My ears prick up at this point and I'm a little bit annoyed.

"You should be careful talking like that" says a middle aged man who I assume is their coach. I start to feel a bit better - he's giving the guy a warning... but nope.

"some lao wai can understand Mandarin."

An obnoxious little git making fun of me to my right, and a coach who thinks it's completely fine sat in front. Now I'm really starting to get annoyed.

Another minute or two passes and OT mouths off again. "Hey, have you ever noticed how lao wai always take their shoes off on flights?"

'Right.' I think 'Well I'm definitely taking mine off then.'

I start unlacing my shoes and just as I take the first one off OT excitedly says "Guys! The lao wai next to me is taking his shoes off right now! Just like I said!"

I sit back up, and say to him in Chinese "'What did you say?" Cue a look of sheer panic on OT's face. Without a word, he stands up and finds another seat, leaving me the entire 4 seat section to myself for the whole flight. That'll serve you right for talking trash about people you don't think can understand you!

*Lao wai is not necessarily derogatory. It depends on context, however it is almost ALWAYS used when something bad is being said about you instead of other words for foreigner. As a foreign resident of China for 8 years and a learner of Mandarin for 10, this is my interpretation as somebody who this word has been used against multiple times. Some people don't agree. Check comments for other interpretations.

One year during the time that I was studying in another city, I was flying home for the break by myself. It was a domestic flight on a small aircraft (an a320 I think), and I followed a mother and her whining two kids down the aisle, hoping that they were at the opposite end of the plane than me. My worst fears were confirmed when they entered the row behind my allocated aisle seat.

There was a boy, 10ish, sitting directly behind me, the mother next to him in the middle, and a well behaved, complacent little girl next to her who turned out never to be a problem. I can't say the same for her brother.

As we climbed out of the clouds I busted out the laptop to start watching a movie. I had headphones and was getting into it when... I noticed a nudge in the back of my seat. Hoping it was a one-off, the nudge happened again, and again, and I realized the kid behind me was kicking my seat. This was no "pushing with the foot", this was fully fledged kicking that was not stopping. I turned around to see if the mother was doing anything about it, and she just ignored it reading her magazine. After ten minutes of feeling every kick I turned to the mother and said "excuse me, would you mind asking your son to stop kicking my seat?" She then forcefully pushed his knees down so that his feet were on the ground, and didn't say a word to me (rude).

Five minutes later it started again, only harder this time. This kid was spitefully and intentionally pissing me off, and the mother clearly didn't care. So when the air hostess came to offer drinks, I had an idea of how to teach the kid a valuable life lesson: don't be a jerk.

After I asked for a coffee, I heard the kid asking for a cup of water. This would work perfectly. I felt the kicking stop when he had received his water, and I heard him extend his tray to put it down. I couldn't be sure that his cup was on the tray but I figured I'd go with the plan anyway.

I pressed the recline release button on the arm rest of my seat, and violently shoved myself backward with force. The full cup was indeed on the tray, and flew backward, covering his lap in water.

He said "aahhhhhhh!!!" and then started complaining to his mum that the "man in front of me" did it on purpose. She was annoyed, and obviously hadn't realized I'd done it on purpose and said "EXCUSE ME, you have spilled water all over my son!" I replied "Well next time you take your kids on a plane, maybe you could ensure that they're not annoying other passengers by kicking their seats when it makes the difference".

The guy next to me laughs and fistbumps me, the mother shuts up and the kicking stops and I watch my movie.

TL;DR: Kid sitting behind me on the plane doesn't stop kicking my seat. When he orders a cup of water and puts it on his tray, I violently recline my seat, covering him with water. The kicking stops.

I am someone who struggles with being overly kind and accommodating, especially on planes. I'm a small person and ppl usually assume that means they can encroach upon my space on planes instead of just upgrading themselves to a more accommodating seat. Finally, I was fed up and knew I no longer wanted to sacrifice my sustainability and comfort for selfish undeserving humans.

I have the window seat and someone who has boarded quite late comes in pushing her oversized carry-on, winter coat, purse, and a shaggy blanket onto me. She didn't push her carry-on under her seat bc it couldn't fit. She throws the shaggy blanket onto my seat while I'm sitting there. She places her purse on my feet. Places her headphones on and closes her eyes. As if I'm invisible.

I move the blanket and purse back to her side. Flight attendant comes around and tells her about her luggage. She ignores. They assume she can't hear them. She continues to ignore. They tap her shoulder. She ignores. They shake her shoulder and she finally follows their instructions.

Before you know it, her coat, blanket, and purse are on my side again. She's fast asleep, elbows flung, and having sweet dreams. Do my best to move her things. Now her mouth is open and she has terrible night time breath. Cool.

We're about to land, she's wide awake and on her phone. Puts her gross blanket back on me so she has more room. Finally I get assertive. She then yanks her blanket, as if I am in the wrong for not wanting her things all over me and my space.

Plane lands, she gets up aggressively and charges off the plane with a foul attitude. Except she forgot to grab her purse. Normally, I would have said, "Oh hey, looks like you forgot something." But not my job to help nasty entitled individuals. The flight attendants surely will catch her before she leaves the gate. Nope.

I see her walk through the food court and through the ground transportation doors. I wonder how far she'll get without her purse

This is something I am surprisingly proud of and easily the most petty thing I've done in my life. TL;DR at the bottom.

About a year ago, I was on a short domestic flight (around 3-4 hours). I was seated towards the front of the flight and lined up to board when they called for my group. I saw I had a window seat and as I saw where I was sitting I noticed an older woman in the aisle seat of my row and who I learned to be her daughter (maybe late 40s) in the middle seat. I let them know I was sitting next to the window and apologized for making them get up so I could sit down. The older lady didn't seem to understand what I was saying at first and she just kept smiling at me, until her daughter told her to get up because they have to let me get past them. The older woman got up and told me not to worry about it, but her daughter seemed extremely annoyed when she told her to move for me.

I didn't mind at all and apologized once more for being too big to fit past them without them having to get up and once again the older lady gave me a big smile and told me not to worry about it. Unfortunately the daughter was nowhere near as happy as her mother.

This is the point where the daughter started to fire off comments to her mother that were directed at me, pissed off at the fact that since I have a window seat I should have been on the plane before them so they didn't have such a hassle to get back up after they were already seated, etc. Her mother though, didn't seem to pay her any mind. I just ignored her tirade, I did feel guilty that I made them (especially the older lady with the big smile) get up for me. But when the daughter saw her mother was ignoring her, she started to look for anyone around us that she could complain about me to. She even asked the flight attendant for a glass of wine because this 'silly moron' next to her had stressed her out. I put my headphones in and occasionally would pause the movie I was watching on my phone to check if she was still complaining about me.

Now, I usually have to put up with comments and slight insults for work, I've been called alot worse before and honestly, being called a 'silly moron' is more humorous than anything, so I was just going to let it slide. That's when I noticed as we reached flying altitude that she was trying to see out the window to look down on the city we were leaving. Immediately, I hunched myself forward to block her from seeing out the window and kept watching my movie. Initially I planned to block the window for about 20 minutes but 20 became 30, 30 became 45 and I thought, what the hell, I'm going to fully commit to hunching in front of the window for the entire flight. I saw her getting annoyed but I blasted my volume, held in my pee, skipped the mid flight snack and drinks and continued to block the window until we landed. It was definitely worth it.

TL;DR: Lady on my flight was a bit rude towards me when I got on the plane, so I blocked her from seeing out the window for the entire (3-4 hour) flight.

I was on a flight last weekend from Portland to Chicago. I do this all the time for work now and usually I am very nice to the people I am seated around. I was given the window seat on the right side of the plane, about half way in and had two empty seats next to me up until the doors were almost closed. At the last moment this jerk sits down in the middle seat and throws his stuff onto the empty seat next to him.

He get's asked to place his stuff above and he does but mumbles the whole time doing it. Well he goes back to sitting down in the middle, not on the aisle and bumps my arm off the arm rest.

I was taken back by that and was like whatever and just sat there looking out the window, well as we take off he leans over me and without even asking tries to shut the shade. I smack his hand out of my face and tell him in no way is he closing the shade as he is in the middle seat. He got mad at that and huffed a little and even pressed the flight attendant button to ask her to shut it.

She comes by and asks if I would kindly shut it for him and I say nope, I want to enjoy my view. She says sorry, it is my call since I am in the window seat and walks away to help other people. I thought that was going to be the end but sadly it never is with these type of people!

The flight from Portland to Chicago is roughly 4 hours nonstop and about half way through he has tried to shut the shade another two times, as well as adjust MY laptop so he can see the show I was watching. (Attack on Titan!) At this point I was done, I am normally the quiet type who just explodes in my head and rants here on Reddit but not this time, this time I was fed up and I wanted to make a fool outta this guy and embarrass him for the rest of the flight.

I waited until he once again tried to shut the shade, it wasn't even that sunny out and the light was only shining on my seat and me, I even had to turn the screen down a little to see it clearly but hell I like having the option to look out the window when I want to!

So he does the reach thing again and this time I pause my show, pop out my ear buds and loudly, I wasn't screaming but i was using my angry voice I use to yell at my dog when she does something bad, and tell the guy that he is being the world biggest jerk and who the hell does he think he is to keep invading my personal space when he has an empty seat right to his left in the aisle.

People around us got really quiet and he got all red in the face! A flight attendant came over and asked what was the problem and again in a not screaming but commanding voice I told her about how much of a jerk this man was being and he actually got up to excuse himself to the bathroom. People were staring at him the whole way and when he finally came back he very awkwardly sat in the aisle seat and wouldn't even look my way the rest of the flight!

Right as soon as we got on the plane I knew this guy was going to be trouble. Let’s call him Paul.

Paul was blocking the walk way having half his body in the aisle, rearranging his backpack for whatever reason (when no one was next to him and he could’ve just done this in his seat). No big deal, I’ll just wait for him to be done. Then Paul insists on me walking around him, which with him being half in the isle makes it quite hard. My body brushes up against his body which made him mad even though he told me to go through. Of course everyone else is trying to board the plane as well and are running into the same issue and Paul is taking his sweet sweet time. Whatever. My boyfriend and I got the row right behind him and sat down awaiting the plane to take off.

Next offense is when someone is trying to put their bag in the overhead bin, and Paul goes berserk. Starts yelling at this women that there is glass in his bag and that she can’t put her luggage there. She calmly tells Paul that this space is for everyone and she needs to put her bag there as is no more room in the other compartments. Paul’s wife doesn’t think this women is getting the point so they start yelling how they’re “custom wine glasses” and that she cannot put her bags there. I was giving this women props, she stood on the seat to gently rearrange things and kept her calm the entire time despite being yelled at. Of course this was not good enough for Paul and his wife, who kept muttering under their breath about how stupid she was and that she was going to ruin their glasses.

When we finally get in the air the baby one row behind me (two rows behind Paul) starts crying. The baby wasn’t even crying 30 seconds before Paul decides to yell “Give that kid a bottle”. The parents obviously ignore this and calm down their child within a minute or so. Now throughout the flight the baby cried a couple more times, each time lasting no longer than 3 minutes. A very good baby. Paul however was not pleased and each time the baby cried he’d turn around and give the parents the stink eye then get up and walk around. I kept hoping the baby would cry just so he’d have to listen to it.

I’m a very shy person so I wasn’t about to confront him, and my boyfriend (who was in the seat behind him) had his head phones on and wasn’t aware of what was going on. So I hatch a plan for my petty revenge, to make his plane ride as unpleasant as possible. What’d I do? I clued in my boyfriend on the situation and had him join my cause. He opened and shut the tray table multiple times “for his laptop”. He sat with his knees in Paul’s seat. He kept putting his water bottle in the pocket behind the seat and taking it out. I kept “accidentally” hitting his seat when I would go to cross my legs. I turned my ac on full blast and pointed it his way. I ate my chips as loud and slow as possible. I coughed multiple times very loudly. All of this would make Paul stare at us and then complain to his wife. I hope your custom wine glasses broke jerk.