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My mom's uncle came to visit, and my family took him to a small family run bagel shop. The uncle made a huge deal out of picking out his bagel, loudly weighing the pros and cons of his top two choices before picking one.
When we got home, we discovered the bagel shop guy tossed in the uncle's second choice bagel for free. This caused my mom's uncle to lose his ever loving mind. We better not have been charged for it! Why did he think we wanted an extra bagel?? How dare he?? He brought up this extra bagel at least once a day for the rest of the trip. I'm pretty sure he's the only person who has let a free bagel ruin his vacation.
As amusing as the otherwise sweet two-year-old’s craft-knife tantrum was for the rest of us to witness, Maria Baratta, Ph.D., L.C.S.W., is right in writing for Psychology Today that “Tantrums are never pleasant to be around.” Of course, when it’s a child who’s throwing their toys (sometimes quite literally), it’s excusable. We might even feel empathy, both for the distressed child and for the sometimes embarrassed parent.
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But as much as we might like to believe we grow out of them, adults have tantrums too. “When it’s a child,” Baratta explains, “there is a plethora of reasons behind the tantrum, including poor frustration tolerance, a missed nap, or hunger.” For adults, the reasons can be even more complicated. As Crystal Raypole writes for Healthline, “Angry outbursts in adults can happen for a number of reasons.”
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I commute between two small towns multiple days a week. On those days, I leave at the same time every day. I drive a 12 year old Prius. It doesn't go fast. I don't speed anyway, because who needs to get pulled over.
So last winter, over a period of several weeks, every morning when I left one town for the other, a white VW with a black roof would come whipping around a corner behind me. They then preceded to ride my bumper the entire 15 minutes to the next town.
The route is along back roads. They are windy, with nowhere to pass. For whatever reason, me driving 60 in a 55 was never good enough. Multiple times a week, the white VW was raging on my tail. Miles and miles of aggresively trying to push me faster. It was happening so often and for so long that I was considering taking a different route.
Then there was the day they caught up to me late. I managed to leave town without them riding behind. I thought I was good. Then I saw them in the rear view, coming up fast. Really fast. I honestly thought they were going to plow right into me. So I slammed on my breaks and pulled over.
Apparently, getting out of his way wasn't possible. This jerk screached to a stop in front of me, angling his car to block me like a cop. This guy in his 20s jumps out of the car screaming and swearing, charging at my vehicle like he's going to smash something.
I threw my car in reverse and backed up so I could get around him. Then hit my gas as hard as that little engine could muster. He tried to kick my car as I drove off. But then he was back in his car speeding after me again. Passed me. Cut me off. Slammed on the breaks in front of me again.
At this point I was scrambling for my phone to call the cops. I slammed on my breaks and pulled over again. He sped off, only to get to the next intersection and sit there. He drove a mile down the road, and then just stopped at the intersection and waited for me to get there. I pulled over again and waited. I was a couple hundred yards away, just parked on the side of the road. I watched as he gunned his engine at the intersection and flashed his break lights over and over. My phone was in my hand ready to dial 911.
Then he just drove off. Like, he suddenly has enough scaring me and left. I broke down for a minute and cried from the panic and stress, then went on my way, still traumatized.
I changed my route after that. I left a little earlier each day. I don't know if I've seen the same car in my b rear view since, but every time I see a white VW with a black roof, my heart jumps into my throat.
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That's when the cooks told me they hadn't defrosted any and we couldn't make more. That would have been cool to know five minutes ago guys.
I went up front and explained the situation, apologizing profusely because I knew it was a lousy situation, ready to offer a discount on something else.
I was sixteen. About 80lbs.
This woman three times my size lunged across the counter and tried to grab me, screaming that she was going to beat me. Over chicken.
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There’s also a difference between a tantrum and a meltdown, even though we often use the words interchangeably. According to Baratta, a tantrum is about getting what you want, right now, whether the demand makes sense or not. A meltdown is more of an emotional overflow, “a heightened upset about something.” Raypole describes adult meltdowns as what happens when someone has simply run out of capacity to cope, rather than an attempt to get their way.
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I'm an adjunct instructor at a community college This semester I had a student in his late 20's throw a fit when he learned I used lockdown browser and demand I make an exception for him. He sent me a scathing email, and filed an official complaint with my department chair... Who said he should drop the class if he didn't like it.
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My nephew's birthday a few years back, A bunch of us had to go but we weren't allowed to participate in the jumping because of how it was booked unless we paid separately. But the parents couldn't just drop off their kids and leave they had to stay. My sister's husband is a man child, he is a spoiled brat who hasn't really ever had to work for anything in his life ever. Anytime he messes up with drinking and driving or whatever it may be, his parents have always bailed him out so he never ever learned lessons.
His father actually paid for the party, but left his son in charge of the arrangements. Then they actually flew out from where they live to our state and attended. When we got there, my sister's husband made it clear that if the adults wanted water or juice or food that we would have to pay for it. They also placed our room upstairs in a building w no elevators. There were 3 elderly people who could not use stairs.
His father managed to get us moved to the ground floor room, and then ordered an additional couple pizzas and drinks so thr adults forced to sit and watch the kids eat and drink, could also eat and drink. Mind you, we were there for hours and no one was made aware prior to coming.
My sister's husband was furious and threw a tantrum like a child in front of an entire crowd of strangers and children. How dare his father provide food and drinks. How dare he change the room too! (when his own mother w Parkinsons wouldn't be able to get up the stairs)
I've never seen a man, nearing 40, throw such a tantrum. People were staring at him, he was LOUD... I don't go to those types of bday parties anymore. My nephew and I do something separately now.
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Adult tantrums, in Baratta’s view, tend to come down to wanting things on your own terms. She gives the example of someone who flies into a rage at having to wait in line at the theater because they feel they shouldn’t have to. Sound familiar? Chances are, you’ve met at least one person with that kind of entitlement.
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Meltdowns are a little different. Sometimes, the thing that finally sets someone off isn’t even the real problem. According to Raypole, some people struggle to manage difficult emotions like anger or disappointment and push them down instead, until they eventually boil over. So when a grown man in a tailored suit screams at a self-checkout machine over an “unexpected item in bagging area” like it’s “personally insulted his bloodline,” the scanner probably isn’t the whole story.
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After about five minutes of him stalking around, yelling his head off, he stuck his hands in his coat pockets … and pulled out his gloves.
The man’s name is Jesse Waters.
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My daughter plays competitive soccer. It really shows you which adults are living life vicariously through their children AND who can’t control their fragile emotions. Constant meltdowns on the sidelines. It’s actually depressing, I’ve started watching among the other team’s parents usually, or standing really far back from the field. A couple weeks ago several of the girls were literally crying because they were so stressed and embarrassed by parents on the sidelines screaming at the ref, h the players, and the other team parents.
Sometimes there’s more going on beneath the surface. Raypole points out that depression can make people unusually irritable, and that conditions such as intermittent explosive disorder, autism, and Tourette syndrome can involve outbursts or meltdowns the person doesn’t choose to have.
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Mug with teabag in it then add boiling water. It was the fact I used to use boiling water that got him to go so nuts, I in the end had to have a word with him and point out it was my drink and it harmed no one.
It turned out he's one of the odd people who for some unknown reason thinks it's "Boiled Water" and it had been boiling at some time in the past. It was too cold even for an instant chocolate drink that only needs hot water.
Even if I was doing it wrong it was my drink how I wanted it.
I hate to think what he'd be like if he'd seen my chicken and apple sauce Sandwich, I like them that way, I was having with my drink.
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