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“Adults have an infinite number of potential worries, so the key to adult life is how not to worry about any of them. Worry doesn’t help anything, so is best dispensed with completely,” Dr. Oliver Robinson told Bored Panda in a recent interview. While not worrying is easier said than done, it might be helpful to at least try and stay calm and collected in situations that adulthood throws at you.
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According to a recent Ipsos poll, now, in 2024, people tend to worry most about inflation, poverty and social inequality, and crime.
“As adults, we have to face a world where actual tragedies and potential threats are a daily occurrence, to ourselves, to those we know and to the wider world. Happiness is necessarily not a good fit with being aware of the facts of the world, and ironically, trying to be happy as an adult, while being aware of the suffering of others, can create anxiety,” Dr. Robinson pointed out.
“However, it is entirely reasonable, and indeed much recommended, to be calm and composed as an adult in the face of what we learn on the news, or issues and illnesses in our lives or the lives of those we know.
“The first step to staying calm and composed, and thus being of help to others in crisis, is not aiming to be happy. If happiness comes in quiet moments in your life, that is of course a good thing, but happiness genuinely manifests more reliably when you don’t aim for it. A calm and composed person thinks carefully through problems or issues, and does not need to worry.”
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Even though such things as your health or the well-being of your loved ones are relevant at pretty much any stage of one’s life, once they reach a certain age, the troubles people focus on the most seem to differ with each age group.
According to the expert in adult development psychology, the main worries for young adults, for instance, are focused most on the future, both their own future and the future of the planet. “They have the burden of trying to carve out a life in a challenging world, and each big decision can be a worry. Their life is full of decisions that change the future. The key issue here is anxiety and feelings of being marginalized.
“Middle-aged adults worry about getting old and the tiring combination of raising children, work and other societal commitments. The key issues here are burnout and tiredness,” he continued.
“Older adults’ main worries are loneliness, losing status and meaning, and losing a place in the world. The key issue here is loss of meaning and purpose.”
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“One of the great pathologies in modern society is the belief that the meaning of life emerges through hard work and corresponding public success, and that if you work harder and harder, suddenly the meaning of life is solved,” Dr. Robinson said.
“But for most, it is actually love and relationships that bring meaning to life. This was brilliantly evidenced by research on terminally ill patients, where they were asked about their regrets. Two of the main regrets were working too much and not spending enough time with friends. When faced with the end of life, as these terminally ill patients were, the meaning of it becomes more clear.
“So slow down and make sure that your life is well balanced between relationships, family, exercise, leisure and work. For those who are not working, make sure to find activities that give social connection and purpose, such as social hobbies.”
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