Let’s face it - sometimes, you just need a break from family-friendly humor.
That’s where adult jokes step in: from dirty jokes to corny one-liners that you wouldn’t say in front of kids. These are the bold, inappropriate jokes we secretly love and publicly pretend we don’t.
Whether you’re texting someone from a dating app or having drinks with friends, funny adult jokes are guaranteed to get a laugh or at least an eye-roll.
Not all of them are NSFW; some are just so awkward, they’d make Monday mornings feel less painful. But all of them? Worth sharing.
So scroll down for the dirtiest, naughtiest, and most hilarious adult jokes on the internet. Got a personal favorite? Share it in the comments. We won’t tell. 😏👇
#41
"I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page."
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#42
"Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver."
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#43
Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”?
Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
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#44
Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield?
Everywhere.
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#45
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.
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#46
"I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?"
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Corny Jokes for Adults
#47
"When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings."
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#48
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
"I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage."
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#49
"I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog."
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Prefer your humor with a bit more edge? Our dirty jokes go a step further, and if you want no guardrails at all, dark jokes are where the real twisted stuff lives.
#50
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
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#51
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
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#52
"To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state."
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#53
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
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#54
"I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane."
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#55
Why did the old man fall into the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
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#56
"It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. But, I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey."
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#57
My wife left a note on the fridge saying, “this is not working”. I don’t know what she’s talking about, the fridge is working fine.
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#58
"I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So we stopped playing chess."
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Dark Humor Jokes
#59
Never break someone's heart, they only have one of those. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
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#60
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
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