Let’s face it - sometimes, you just need a break from family-friendly humor.
That’s where adult jokes step in: from dirty jokes to corny one-liners that you wouldn’t say in front of kids. These are the bold, inappropriate jokes we secretly love and publicly pretend we don’t.
Whether you’re texting someone from a dating app or having drinks with friends, funny adult jokes are guaranteed to get a laugh or at least an eye-roll.
Not all of them are NSFW; some are just so awkward, they’d make Monday mornings feel less painful. But all of them? Worth sharing.
So scroll down for the dirtiest, naughtiest, and most hilarious adult jokes on the internet. Got a personal favorite? Share it in the comments. We won’t tell. 😏👇
#1 Funny Jokes For Adults
"My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her."
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#2
"Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst."
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#3
"Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera."
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#4
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
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#5
"I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around.”"
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#6
Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.
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#7
"The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved."
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#8
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
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#9
"My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals."
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#10 Dark Humor & Death Jokes
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
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#11
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
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#12
"I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy."
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#13
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
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#14
What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
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#15
"My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow."
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#16
"I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except for one person."
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#17
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
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#18
"I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors."
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#19
"My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?"
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#20
"As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice."
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