30 Parents Explain Why They Aren't On Speaking Terms With Their Adult Children

I am a parent of a child who does still talk to me but rarely and I fully accept that it is my fault . I was an immature parent and made some bad decisions in addition to being inconsistent with my parenting due to immaturity. I am also on the spectrum but that’s something I didn’t find out until a few years ago when my son was diagnosed. I know I wasn’t great and I understand my daughter and I try to give her space.

I was a pretty s**t dad. 2 of my 3 adult children don't talk to me. I've been working hard on becoming a better person and I hope someday we can reconcile and work to build relationships.i love and miss them desperately but I l know they're dealing with their own mental and physical health issues and that's the most important thing. I'm not going anywhere and I'll be here if and when they're ready, no matter how long it may take.

My sister doesn't speak to one of her kids. They have gone through spurts of not talking to her. She expects too much of people. She's very entitled. She doesn't follow through on commitments. (She still owes me a wedding quilt she started - married 43 years now) She's always the person who is hard done by. Nothing works out for her. She wants to be taken care of, that's all. She thinks she should get to spend her money as she pleases and someone else should subsidize her lifestyle because that's what she wants. She has burned through all her options and is on the verge of homeless. She's manipulative and a taker. She doesn't do anything terrible - no drugs, booze or gambling - and appears to be very sweet and caring. But she really believes she's owed much more and she shouldn't have to do anything to have it. She apparently abused her son who took her in. I have no clue what she did or didn't do but it was enough that he booted her out. I'm sure there were conditions set in place when he took her in and I'm sure she ignored the conditions and did as she pleased. Why do I think that? Because that's what she did to me. She always has her "reasons" and everyone else is unreasonable. It's that old nut about doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. I feel bad for her but man, she just keeps throwing herself off cliffs.

My son (31) rarely if ever calls. I try but he rarely answers. He makes big money and is into travel for music festivals so he’s busy. We had a really solid relationship up until he went off to college and his fraternity bros became his family. I miss him.

I have 4 kids. My two oldest aren't living with me. My oldest daughter talks to me some. My oldest son wishes me dead. I made many many mistakes when my kids came back to live with me. (ex wife lost custody) My eldest hated my LTR girlfriend. My daughter was right. She was terrible and consequently so was I. My daughter left to go back with her mother as she was not doing well here. I understand, now, why. My LTR made eldest sons life miserable too. During that time I broke up with the LTR. It was too late. My eldest son left to go be with his mother and sister. I am sure that my ex wife is not helping this matter but he is mad at me and I know I made some pretty bad decisions. I have accepted the fact I may never have a relationship with him ever again.

I wasn’t the best father. Even though my kids wanted for nothing all through their time before leaving home I had my own issues when they were young and was distant and emotionally abusive. When I realized what I had been doing it was too late. As they grew up we had no common interests even as I supported them in theirs, they avoided me unless absolutely necessary for things they needed for projects or school. Counseling helped, but emotionally they have no connection to me at all. I don’t hold anything against them. I know it’s on me. I hope they can have healthier relationships with their kids if they have any.

Kind of off the main point here. I had a child I gave up for adoption at birth, primarily because I was a single mother w a 4 yr old. I worked. I was always tired. It was the right thing. Fast forward 12 years, I'm surprised by a,knock at the door: it was his adopted parents. And wham back came,all the trauma and pain and confusion, as they felt he would benefit from knowing me. He didn't. I became anxious about the relationship, and he eventually quit coming around. I think I was a disappointment to him, and I'm sorry. He has not stayed in touch, in spite of now distant attempts. I haven't tried in 3 years. He's happier and so am i.

Parent. It’s because I f****d up and neglected the relationship. I wasn’t the father she deserved. It’s that simple.

My daughter went through a traumatic event when she found out her Mom was having an affair with a junkie. Daughter was furious at her Mom for destroying the family. Mom flipped out, threatened suicide to our daughter’s face, blaming her. At that moment, everything shifted and daughter became the nurturer to her Mom, who regressed into childhood - a complete switching of roles when my daughter really needed a Mom. Mom wasn’t safe to be angry at (for fear she’d kill herself), so I became the target.

We talk, but it’s so terse and superficial that it’s close to non-communication. I’d like to talk through what happened, even in a therapeutic setting, but daughter says that’s off the table.

My father would say that my mother lied and manipulated us into taking her side during the divorce.

The truth is that he boasted to me about pulling a gun on her to "teach her a lesson", and then didn't understand why I thought that was unacceptable. I haven't spoken to him in a decade since that discussion. To this day, I believe he was contemplating murder-suicide or family annihilation.