I was wondering if anybody has been in the same position I have. I was engaged 3 years and moved into my ex fiancees parents house they just built after her father passed away. I did so because her mother and my ex needed help because the house was basically a camp that was just a shell and most of the interior was unfinished because her dad who did everything there passed away. I fixed everything up, put in a new septic system (they were using a 55 gallon drum we found out after digging it up), replaced their kitchen sink, put insulation under the OSB flooring (the house was on stilts), crawled under the house to fix their plumbing that would regularly freeze in the winter, fixed their electrical, and even gave them my washer so we could wash our clothes (an expensive Samsung smart washer). I did all this while working every day after coming home. I cooked and cleaned and fed all their farm animals as well as their 7 dogs in this tiny little house. Nothing was ever enough. They had me mowing huge pastures and everything else. I was not allowed to sleep for more than 6 hours at a time even though I worked overnights. Her mother and my ex were both extremely verbally and mentally abusive towards me. I have never felt so worthless in my life. One night we all got into a heated argument. Her mother said "You guys I can't live like this!" To which I replied "Neither can I!" It was like living in a third world country. No walls, no privacy, just insulation. It became clear to me I was just being taken advantage of so I gathered all my stuff together after living there a year and left. I had a feeling I was being cheated on too by my ex which come to find out i was right. She was seeing her co worker and my ex was their boss. It was like a knife to the heart. I raised her daughter for the last 3 years as my own child because her father was a deadbeat. I tried so hard to keep my little family together. After a month of me moving back home I ended up getting dumped for that person she worked with. Around Christmas I got messages saying that she was sorry for everything and that she wanted me back and she made a horrible mistake. I stupidly took her back late January just for us to spend Valentine's day together and have her dump me again after just begging me to marry her a few days before. She left me for the same person yet again after she promised she wouldn't hurt me again. Has anybody else been through anything similar? I've had her blocked for a long period of time now but she wants to stay friends although she continues to lie to me. She told me she wanted nothing to do with Alex (the person she left me for) even as a friend but she said they kissed her when she went to drop off their stuff to them and come to find out they have been seeing eachother still. Should I just ghost her? It kills me inside everything I have to hear about. I told her I may need friends and love but I don't need you and put her on block. Was I too out of line? Any assistance or advice in this matter would be greatly appreciated.
#1
It is obvious you have a big heart and are very strong given what you've been through. I'll keep this simple. If you found out you had been poisoned would you keep the bottle of poison on the shelf? Nope! You'd toss it aside and never look back. Well, you have been poisoned... People are toxic. Forgive yourself for keeping the bottle and uncorking it a few times out of morbid curiosity. Toss the bottle (no contact) because poison doesn't care anyway, and put all your energy into healing from all the toxic effects. Move on and fast!
3points
#2
NTA. Even if you hadn’t done all of that work on the house (which you did while working full time and doing everything else) you were living together as a couple and ex cheated. You even gave your ex another chance and she cheated yet again then made excuses about why it happened. It really makes me wonder if she ever broke up with the coworker at all or if she was just using you the whole time.
I like what the one response said about the poison. You didn’t know she was toxic until you figured it out. It sounds like she’s going to continue to use those around her, lie, cheat, and then justify her behavior to gaslight you if you were to stay “friends”. I’m sorry but in my opinion friends don’t treat each other this way. It is ok to block some people out of your life completely for your own mental health. If you stay friends, she still has an “in” into your life and could try to use it to get back with you just to hurt you yet again. There is a proverb “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”. Meaning we should learn from our mistakes.
TL/DR: Ghost her.
2points
#3
Don’t over think it any further.
Move on
Get some counseling if you have to to understand your desire to people please.
Find your worth again and wait for something better
Fool me once shame on you fool me twice your the fool now
Being in love can be a cruel thing at a times remove yourself.the Bible states remember lots wife she looked back and end up dying.
GET OUT
Move on
Get some counseling if you have to to understand your desire to people please.
Find your worth again and wait for something better
Fool me once shame on you fool me twice your the fool now
Being in love can be a cruel thing at a times remove yourself.the Bible states remember lots wife she looked back and end up dying.
GET OUT
1point

