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911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
FunnyJUN 4, 2022

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face

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Every single job has its humorous silver lining. In fact, laughter and comedy help us cope with stress and incredibly difficult situations. And working as a 911 operator or an emergency services dispatcher is no different.
Among all the vital work they do, and the lives they help save, they still get non-emergency calls. Some of them are so funny, that it’d be a shame not to share them with the internet. That’s exactly what some 911 operators did on r/AskReddit, opening up about the most unusual, unforgettable, and downright bizarre calls they’ve gotten.
As you’re scrolling down, remember to upvote the stories that amused you the most, Pandas. If you’ve ever worked in dispatch, we’d love to hear about your job, so tell us about your experiences in the comment section. And if you’d like to see some more silly non-emergency calls, check out our previous article right here.
Bored Panda reached out to the International Academies of Emergency Dispatch to learn more about the challenges that 911 operators face at work. Brett Patterson, Academics and Standards Associate, as well as the Chair of the Medical Council of Standards at the IAED was kind enough to answer some of our questions. He pointed out that people should not hesitate to call 911; callers should not be discouraged from doing so and should not think that they're 'bothering' someone.
"It is certainly true that many calls to 9-1-1 are not true, pre-hospital emergencies. In fact, the vast majority are not, and some seem downright silly. However, emergency dispatchers are trained to handle each one as if it were a true emergency as the caller often believes it is," Patterson explained. "Public awareness is a challenge as we do not want to discourage calls for help. In reality, this can be a problem as well as some callers, especially the elderly, are hesitant to call as they do not want to 'bother' the paramedics, or firefighters, or police officers that they admire so much."

#1

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
A little kid called 911 because he wanted the cops to come arrest his brother.
You see, their mom said that the caller's brother was supposed to share the legos, but he wasn't sharing. The caller's brother said that he was playing with *all* of the legos, which wasn't possible. There were too many legos for one person to play with all of them at once, argued our caller. Therefore, his brother was a liar, a jerk, and a turd and we needed to come and arrest him.
We had a high degree of confidence that this wasn't a coded request for help, so we asked to speak to an adult- confirmed that there was no distress and closed the case. Share your legos, kids.
PS: **If your kid ever calls 911, don't get mad at them**. We *want* them to call 911 if they think they should. We would much rather have them call 911 for something silly than have them not call when they should because they're afraid they'll get in trouble.
536points

Patterson, from the IAED, revealed to Bored Panda how the job of an emergency dispatch worker can have a very strong effect on their emotional well-being. "The job of a 9-1-1 call taker is an emotional one due to the obvious impact of vicarious, frequent tragedy and, perhaps most overlooked, the intense pressure associated with high call volumes, prioritization of limited resources, and periods of intense multitasking," he stressed that employees work with limited resources.

"High on the list of emotional impact are cases that call takers can relate to personally, i.e., the death of a child about the same age as your own child, or the death of father, called in by the son or daughter who found him, when your own father is ill or recently deceased. High volume stressors also have a big impact on emotional well-being, especially when prolonged, as we have seen with the challenges of our recent pandemic," Patterson was candid about the challenges that dispatchers face.

#2

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
There are funny calls that come in all the time. I talked to a pizza delivery guy who couldn't reach his destination because a defiant chicken was standing in the middle of the road. I stayed with him on the phone as he pleaded with it to finally move along. Truly a chicken crossing the road moment.
Another time I took a call where a guy insisted he was in an argument with a man dressed as a giant Pepsi bottle. He said the man in the Pepsi suit had stolen his debit card and refused to give it back. Upon arrival the officers told me he was high as s**t and arguing with a vending machine.
383points

#3

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
Had a grown man calling in about "a monster trying to get into his son's room " ..... he's the right kind of frantic where I KNOW it's not a mental health crisis , but I still couldn't figure it out . Well, hes a middle Eastern male with a real thick accent and I was having a hard time understanding, so he gave the phone to his son .
The monster had climbed a tree and was at his bedroom window . And it was as big as his dog . And it has hands like him but tiny .....
Wait, what ? Right there I told the kid to see if it had rings on his tail ...
Yes ...
They had just moved to America a month ago, and had never heard of raccoons . I couldn't mute myself fast enough , and the father heard me laughing . I think that's what helped calm him down. I explained what a trash panda was and welcomed him to our wild jungle .
340points

"Most evolved 9-1-1 agencies have Critical Incident Stress Debriefing plans and teams in place to assist emergency dispatchers after low frequency, high-risk incidents, or any time the call taker requests assistance. However, voluntarily seeking help is a challenge for call takers and dispatchers as they may see this as a weakness or an inability to cope while their teammates appear alright," he pointed out that seeking help isn't as easy as it might seem to an outsider.

"A common problem related to all of the above is the lack of legislative standards regarding emergency dispatcher and call taker training. Emergency dispatch in the United States is very fragmented and can vary greatly from state to state, county to county, and even town to town."

We might know to call 911 when we’re in trouble from all the movies and TV shows we’ve watched, but the actual number you need to dial depends on what country you live in. For instance, if you’re in the United States, Canada, and Mexico, congratulations, the number’s still 911, it's very easy to remember.

However, if you’re in the United Kingdom, you need to dial 999. Many former British colonies and overseas territories also use it. Meanwhile, the emergency number in the European Union is 112. The same number also works in India and the UK.

Emergency services, no matter how talented and capable, have limited personnel and resources to work with. Folks call 911 for a variety of reasons. Some have incredibly mundane problems that they need help solving. Others don’t know where else to turn for advice. And some individuals are simply incredibly lonely and just want somebody to talk to—they want to be heard, they want to think that someone cares about them.

#4

I called (the non emergency police line) once for my across the way neighbor playing Christmas music at all hours for seven months straight.
Turns out I live next to a Deaf building and the person had no idea that their music was 1) playing 24/7 and 2) so loud I could hear it in any room of my apartment across the driveway.
The operator was absolutely cracking up because I was like look, it’s July, I can’t take hearing holy night again. The call back I got when they made contact with the person was absolutely hilarious- the cop couldn’t stop chuckling every few words.
311points

#5

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
I was a 911 dispatcher years ago but had two calls specific calls that still make me laugh.
1) a frazzled mother called cause her six year old had gotten into the roof and she couldn’t get him down. She kept screaming about how we need to hurry...not because she was worried he would get hurt, but because he had done the before and last time he peed in the air vents.
2) this was before weed was legal in my state, but a college kid called asking for an ambulance. He was super worried that he was having an allergic reaction to the weed he just smoked. When asked about his symptoms he said “I just can’t stop eating Cheetos”.
243points

#6

Not me but my wife who works both as a secretary for a fire department and is a volunteer firefighter/emt. A lady calls asking if she can donate a building for a training burn in. After asking questions she finds out it's not a building but an RV. More questions. It's not her RV, it was abandoned on her property. Just a few more questions. It's not exactly abandoned. It's her ex-husbands RV. And he's living in it and won't leave. She wants my wife's fire department to burn it down. Wife's fire department declined.
Report
239points

Recently, Bored Panda spoke about police operators with a psychotherapist who asked us to remain anonymous because of how sensitive her job is. We spoke about dealing with the stress of the job and resilience.

“People working in emergency services are usually trained on how to react. The entire process usually has a very clear algorithm of actions, the call is standardized and streamlined as much as possible. When you clearly know how to act, there’s a bit less stress,” she explained.

“Usually, stress arises from confusion, a lack of clarity, as well as either too few or too many choices,” she told Bored Panda.

“If an operator is facing a very difficult situation, they can reduce their stress levels with the help of their colleagues,” the expert noted that the dispatcher can ask their coworkers or supervisor for help. They can also redirect the call to specialized services like firefighters or emergency medical services.

#7

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
Caller called because they got their head stuck in a cat tree. With the cat stuck inside with it. Throughout the call I kept hearing like "ow, f**k" and "dude this isn't fun for me either" "dude, i know f**k!" "dude!"... Caller ended up going to the hospital for a minor case of serious head lacerations. Ok I don't really know the severity but I'm sure they got some stitches.
The other cool thing was that the caller was using an apple watch to call 911 because obviously they wouldn't be able to hold the phone to their ear. We get about a dozen misdials from apple watches a day, it was nice to finally see one being used for 'real'
232points

#8

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
So I work in the dispatch center for a department that serves a city who's population is just shy of a milli, so we get a s**t ton of calls every day. Naturally, you'll get some wild stories about scams, especially these days.
Because of this, you quickly become numb to some of the mental gymnastics that people do when they rationalize to me why they sent the IRS $5,000 worth of Best Buy gift cards that had to be purchased from 5 different Best Buy stores... Half the stories give me a chuckle, but overwhelming majority of them just cause me to feel bad for the person because I know they're not getting any of that money back... which brings me to a call that I took last year.
A younger woman calls in, she had to be in her late 20's or early 30's... Story starts off like a run of the mill scam, ya know - someone called her from the FBI, saying that she had a warrant out for her arrest and that she could "clear her name" if she sent them money..
*Well how much money did they ask for Biracial_Angel9???*
They told her that all of the money in her checking account would suffice... That's correct. Whatever amount of money she had would do.... So that's what she sent.. Which amounted to about $4,000.
**BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!!**
After feeling bad for her, gathering some additional information, and beginning to let her know reporting options and whatnot, she cuts me off... She says, *"Well what can I do about the verification pictures??"*
And I'm like what are you talking about?... She said "Well yeah, they said they needed to verify my identity through their body verification system, so I sent them several nude photos like they asked me too... pictures from the front, the side, and from the back while I was bending over."
I was absolutely stunned.
She had to do a quintessential "ya there?" into the phone so I could come back to f*****g reality for a moment... At this point, I thought ***I*** was the one getting f****d with! But she was bawling her eyes out at this point so I made no assumptions, other than the fact that there was probably even more to the story...
**WHICH THERE F*****G WAS.**
Like a respectful kid listening to a bedtime story, I'm just f****n like "And then what happened?" She proceeds to tell me that they then threatened to send the photos to her friends and family if she didn't pay them more money...
"*How much money???"* you might be asking? In true FBI Body Verifying Agent form, they doubled down and said all she had in her savings account would be enough.... WHICH WAS $25,000!!!! I'm just sitting there in my chair like:
^(please, God, no.)
But she did... And I've considered getting into the scamming business ever since.
225points

#9

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
A friend had cops called on him cause he was doing "liquid" at the train station. It's a form of dancing at raves where your hands seem to look like liquid. The person who called the cops was scared it was satanic or something.
167points

The psychotherapist stressed that it’s vital to create very clear boundaries between work and home, as well as to have an unambiguous understanding of what the employee is responsible for.

“You have to clarify which actions were taken to give help to others and what is beyond the competence of the operator. It’s also important to vent the emotions that you feel at work,” she said, adding that emergency dispatchers should speak about the challenges they face with their colleagues or a psychologist.

“Two of the most important factors that help maintain psychological resilience are: the support given by loved ones and colleagues, and the existence of a safe social space to speak about hardships,” the mental health expert told Bored Panda.

#10

This story sounds made up,, but multiple students I trust, the teacher, and school admin have all confirmed it to me..
A teacher at the school I teach at butt dialed 911 during class. He just happened to be teaching his chemistry class how to make meth while he did so. Apparently he didn't realize it until the office called into his room and asked him to come to the receptionists desk because there was a cop there, responding to his call.
He got the cop to cuff him, walk him back into his classroom, and say "This is why you don't even think about making meth."
Report
163points

#11

One time, my family's 12lb bichon tripped on a phone cord that yanked the phone to the ground. My mom, who was cooking at the time, noticed the dog walking on the phone.
So naturally she yelled "Im gonna kill you dog" at Corky before picking up the phone.
Turns out the doggo called 911, and the operator heard at least part of the threat. So 6 cops showed up sirens and all demanding to search every room in the house.
It was a good break from math homework
161points

#12

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
A man requiring extrication from an Under Armor insulated shirt. His shoulder popped out of the socket while he was pulling it on, it was halfway on/halfway off and his arm was locked and dislocated.
Edited to add (so you don't think I'm awful) HE was laughing, and said "I would have driven myself to the hospital but I would have had to drive with my arm out the window!"
157points

“It’s only natural that when you react to dramatic and tragic events, you face emotions like anxiety, anger, a sense of hopelessness, and others. The job of a dispatcher brings with it various psychological challenges, so it’s important to ensure that the people who take up this calling don’t just use up their personal resources but also manage to recharge them,” she said that social relationships, hobbies, support in the workplace, and access to wellbeing consultants can all help.

The psychotherapist believes that people who call 911 operators when there aren’t any emergencies are sending out a plea for help that’s “directed to the wrong address.”

#13

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
Lady called in because she thought Willie Nelson was having a cardiac arrest in her trailer, and she needed an ambulance. I started giving her CPR instructions, and come to find out when paramedics got there, she was doing compressions on the couch cushions.
156points

#14

Dear 911 Operators Reading This:
I would like to formally apologize for 21 year old me. I was drunk and dumb and when the call connected to dispatch and asked what the emergency was, I know I shouldn’t have answered “911, What’s Your Emergency?” With “There is no emergency, I am the Batman.” It has bothered me ever since I sobered up the next day and realized I was a real a*****e to waste your time when there was likely bigger emergencies to worry about. (My Anxiety is also paranoid I kept you from saving a life.) I sincerely apologize and am sorry. I also no longer drink, so there is that.
Report
155points

#15

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
I just certified as a call taker and got mandated for overtime (of course) on my first shift. Policy was if someone insisted they saw something we take it as face value and enter the call.
Well this lady called me just after midnight and swore she saw a chupacabra on the west side of Orlando and Insisted in an officer doing an area check.
Not too long after that a coworker was in on his night off and left the building. He called 2 mins later saying he saw a kangaroo hopping down the street.
I can’t make this s**t up
150points

“Odds are that the caller is having a rough time. A large number of them are probably kids or teenagers who aren’t being taken care of by their parents. Or people who have problems with staying sober,” she said that these individuals need attention and would like to be taken care of.

“When they get in touch with emergency services, they feel like they’re being listened to. Sometimes, even an entire team of people reacts to a single person’s problems. It might be that these callers do need (a different kind of) help, but they’re lost or don’t know better and try to look for solutions by calling emergency services.”

#16

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
I am not a dispatcher. But when I was a child and like 6 I called the police from the home phone and asked if they would come play with me because I didn’t have friends. So they showed up, because they have to respond, and I got a lecture from the police and my military parents about the seriousness of calling 911.
133points

#17

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
Was a 911 Operator before becoming a Paramedic.
Had a lot of funny ones, but by far my favorite involved an all too common problem of a kid getting a hold of a locked cellphone and only being able to dial 911.
It was Father's Day mind you, had this particular kid (about 5 years old) call in at least 6 times but he'd never stay on the line long enough for us to get a good "ping" on his cellphone. It was probably about 22:00 local at the time, not early but not too late in the night.
Long story short we were finally able to get him to stay on the phone long enough by talking about how his teddy bear was "sick". We asked to speak to his parents and he told us they were in bed and the door was locked, so we asked him to go knock on the door, he then told us he had been locked in his room.
Okay..... I think we know what's going on now.
By this point we had an officer en route to this kid's house to go make sure everything was okay and to tell his parents the kid has been calling 911.
The officer arrives on scene, a few minutes go by, then the officer comes over the radio and says "S120 back in service, the teddy bear is 10-4".
The officer made his way up to the comm center and proceeded to tell us all that the kid's Dad answered the door wearing only boxer shorts and was more than a little agitated when he found out his son had been calling 911.
Apparently the dad had been getting his Father's Day "gift" from mom when the officer showed up.
132points

#18

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
I once called 911 because I cut my finger and wanted to talk to my mom, who was a dispatcher. I called crying asking to talk to her by name. She was more pissed at my dad for not waking up when I tried to go to him first haha.
128points

#19

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
I had a guy call in on 911 because he was concerned about a seagull he thought was injured in a Chipotle restaurant parking lot. Apparently while on the phone, he tried to pick up or check on the bird at which point the bird started squawking, then he started freaking out and I started having trouble telling them apart. Then there I could hear what might have been wings flapping, a brief silence, and suddenly the guy started hyperventilating and screaming he needed an ambulance because he was having a heart attack and that the bird flew off.
I wasn't sure if he was being serious so I got him over to EMS as a precaution. Upon transfer and getting EMS on the line he got very quiet and said, "I think I'm okay, I'll call you back later," and hung up and would not answer on callback.
I still wonder about Steven Seagull when I drive by a Chipotle.
120points

#20

911 Operators Share The Funny And Wild Calls They Couldn't Take With A Straight Face
1. Had a guy call because he dyed his pubes and was having an allergic reaction.
2. Woman screaming that an ambulance was following her with their lights on. Spoiler: the ambulance was not following her.
3. Asking the caller for the description of the man she's fighting with, "he's ugly." - Thanks ma'am very descriptive.
I could go on and on .......
115points
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