In our experience, it’s usually best to combine optimism with realism. So, it’s great to have goals and dreams for the new year, but you also have to be realistic with your expectations.
Be hopeful without being delusional that you’ll completely overhaul your life in just a few days or weeks. Real change takes commitment and consistency over a long period of time.
As the Mental Health Foundation points out, New Year’s resolutions can motivate you early on in the year, but those same expectations can also put you under unhelpful pressure.
“Aiming to be our ‘best selves’ can put us under unnecessary pressure and stress. And when we struggle to live up to the impossible standards we set, it can make us feel guilty and bad about ourselves. Or we might push ourselves too hard and find that we’re burnt out before the first month is over.“
One way that you can change your approach to New Year’s resolutions is to focus on making positive changes, instead of negative ones. So, instead of deciding that you’ll stop doing something, you should think about what you will do. For example, you reframe your healthy eating resolution as eating healthier instead of not eating unhealthy food.
You also probably want to throw some flexibility into your resolutions so that they match the reality of your daily life. For instance, you could start with incredibly simple daily goals and then revisit them every month or so. And remember to be kind to yourself if (when!) you don’t meet your goals, and see your failure as an opportunity to learn.
One of the most fascinating things about human beings is just how resilient we can be. We’re much tougher than we think. And no matter how difficult things get, we can adapt, rise to the challenge, and overcome practically anything. While doing all of this is far from easy or comfortable, we all have the potential to move past our mistakes and bad luck.
And the good news is that things like emotional resilience are something we can all learn, just like any other skill.
Emotional resilience allows you to adapt to adversity and handle daily stress and crises more effectively and calmly.
On the other hand, someone who has low emotional resilience has a much harder time adapting to stress and life changes, whether they’re big or small, Verywell Mind explains.
According to Verywell Mind, emotionally resilient people tend to have:
- Emotional awareness
- Perseverance
- An internal locus of control
- Optimism
- A sense of humor
- Social support
- Perspective and learn from their mistakes
- Spirituality
Generally speaking, emotionally resilient individuals understand both their own feelings and those of other people, as well as the reasons behind them.
“This type of emotional understanding allows people to respond appropriately to others and to better regulate and cope with difficult emotions such as anger or fear,” Verywell Mind explains.
What’s more, emotionally resilient people tend to be action-oriented, persevering, hopeful, and continue working toward their goals despite obstacles.
On top of that, they believe that they are in control of their own lives, and so, they’re much more solution-oriented. They also don’t see themselves as victims. Instead, they trust in their own strength.
